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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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Take A 48-Hour Chill Pill

| IL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work at a very busy animal hospital’s oncology department. A client calls after having taken a lot of the doctor’s time that morning and making us run behind. I take the call, so the doctor can continue working on paperwork for her current patient.)

Customer: “Yeah, you guys didn’t give me enough d*** pills!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. We have a newer person that filled your prescription, but I did double check her. How many pills did we send you with?”

Customer: “It’s supposed to be two weeks’ worth, but you only gave me eight pills!”

Me: *realizing where the confusion lies* “Oh! Actually, that’s right; you got eight pills because the medication is given every other day. We need to see [Dog] in two weeks, so you’ll only be giving seven doses. I wanted to make sure that you had an extra dose, just in case, so that’s why we filled eight pills.”

Client: “But it’s supposed to be for two weeks. Why are there only eight pills?”

Me: “Because in those two weeks, you’re only giving seven doses. It’s an every other day medication.”

Client: “I get that it’s every other day, but why did you only give me eight pills?”

Me: *trying a different tactic* “Every 48 hours you’ll give [Dog] a pill. This means that, when we see you and (Dog) in two weeks’ time, you’ll have given seven pills. The pill can make some dogs feel ill, so we want to make sure he tolerates it, because you’re not allowed to return medication. That’s why we send two weeks’ worth the first time we send it home.”

Client: “Then why are there eight pills?”

Me: “The eighth pill is just in case something happens to one of the pills. For example, should [Dog] chew on one, or if he spits it out, or you should drop it down the sink. All those things have happened before to people. ”

Client: “I know why there’s an extra pill! But you said you wanted to see [Dog] in TWO WEEKS. Why did you only give me seven pills?”

Me: “Because you’ll be giving seven doses in those two weeks.”

Client: “But [Doctor] said you’ll give me two weeks’ worth, fourteen days! But there’s only seven plus the extra one!”

Me: “If we sent home fourteen pills, then that would almost be enough for a month worth of medication-”

Client: “I KNOW WHY THERE’S NOT FOURTEEN PILLS! You said you you’re giving me two weeks’ worth and—”

Me: *finally feeling the last part of my brain melt, I calmly unleash a stream of reasons, hoping one will make sense to her* “Because it’s an every other day medication. In those two weeks, you’ll only be giving seven pills. We don’t want to send more in case (Dog) gets sick from it. There’s two weeks’ worth of pills filled since you’re doing it every other day. Every 48 hours. Seven total doses.”

Client: “But you said—” *huff of breath, phone clattering, and then a click*

(I’m dumbfounded, so I look at the phone for a moment, then silently hang up the phone.)

Doctor: *shocked* “Did she just hang up on you?”

Me: *head in my hands* “Yes.”

Doctor: *picks up the phone, starts dialing client’s number*

(I had to go check in another patient so I didn’t hear the call, but the doctor told me later that the client had finally realized what I’d been telling her, and it made sense. She felt stupid and just hung up, to stop wasting my time…)

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My Pet Playstation

| USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(I work for a security system. Customers can leave dispatch notes for their account in case there’s anything the police need to know when going to their location. Most customers leave notes on firearms or dogs they have in the premises or if their house is hard to find.)

Customer’s Dispatch Notes For Fire: “SAVE MY PLAYSTATION! My girlfriend has a dog. Let the little buddy burn; he’s lived a long life…”

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If You Don’t Listen You Can Go Swim With The Fishes

, | England, UK | Money, Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We decide to have a day at the beach with our children. They are both being so well behaved we decide to go to the Sea Life Centre despite it being known as an expensive attraction.)

Customer: “How much are tickets?”

Cashier: “All prices are on the board to your left, but I can see that there are three of you so that would be £41. However, if you—”

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! How can you charge so much?”

Cashier: “Well, we operate a sea life hospital. Part of the ticket price goes to helping injured animals and releasing them back to the wild.”

Customer: “I am not paying that! Come on, we are leaving. What a rip off!”

Me: “Er… four, please.”

Cashier: “Great, thank you, that will be £55. But if you head over to the supermarket they will give you 40% off.”

Me: “Great! Thank you!”

(I dash over to the supermarket and pick up a voucher, I see the family still outside when I return but they are too busy shouting at each other to let me offer them a voucher. We ended up having a great time.)

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He’s Horsing Around

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I help out at a friend’s riding stable. It’s not uncommon for people whose only experience with horses is watching Bonanza reruns on TV to then claim to be experienced riders.)

Me: “Have you had much riding experience?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know all about horses! Bring me a good, fast one.”

(I saddle a decent horse and bring him out for this guy.)

Customer: “How do I get on?”

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Swan Song

Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(As I approach the register, the customer in front of me is just stepping away. His daughter, who appears to be about seven or eight years old, starts informing the cashier of the environmental dangers of plastic bags.)

Girl: “…and if one of them gets into the water it will kill a swan.”

Cashier: *trying to humor her* “Really?”

Girl: “Yes, I’ve seen it happen.”

Dad: *realizing his child is not beside him* “Come on! Leave the cashier alone.”

(The cashier rings up my purchase.)

Cashier: “Would you like a bag with that?”

Me: “Yes. Even though it might kill a swan.”

Cashier: *without missing a beat* “She’s seen it happen.”

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