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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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Finding Fresh Ways To Complain

| Kristiansand, Norway | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work at the local fish market. We keep live cod in fish tanks so that the customers can get them as fresh as possible.)

Customer: “Hello. That fish in the tank over there. Is that fresh?”

Me: “Well, yes, it’s alive.”

Customer: “I see that, but is it fresh? How long has it been living in there?”

Me: “A few days.”

Customer: “Then it’s not fresh!”

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Sea-Gullible

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(We are a hotel right on the sea front.)

Guest: “I would like to move rooms, please.”

Colleague: “Is there anything I can help with?”

Guest: “I would like to move down the hotel as the seagulls are keeping me awake.”

Colleague: “I’m really sorry; we don’t have any available rooms. We are by the sea; there are going to be seagulls everywhere.”

Guest: “Oh. Is there anything that you can do to make them quiet though the night?”

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A Pet Is For Life, Not Four Minutes

| MI, USA | Pets & Animals, Popular, Time

(An older man and his daughter come into the animal shelter. His daughter is wearing slippers in public.)

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “Yeah, I want a kitten.”

Me: “Okay, well we only have one really young kitten right now. She is about four months old an—”

Man: *interrupts me* “Yeah, I’ll take that one.”

Me: “Well, you have to spend some time with her and make sure that she has the personality you’re looking for.”

(We take the kitten into the adoption room so he can spend time with her and so I can further counsel the adoption. The man spends about four minutes with the kitten and comes back out holding her. I go up and take the kitten.)

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Man: “Yeah, I want that kitten.”

Me: “Well, I need you to spend at least fifteen minutes with her. The time you spent with her isn’t enough to get to know her, and I’ll have to ask some questions.”

Man: *getting annoyed* “I just want this kitten.”

Me: “You have to spend more time with her so we can make sure she is going to the right home.”

Man: “I’m a good pet owner! I just want the kitten!”

Me: “I’m not saying you aren’t. You just have to spend more time with her.”

Man: “Well, I have stuff to do! I can’t spend all day here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you are required to spend more time with her if you want to adopt from us.”

(The man stares at me blankly for a minute, throws his arms up and starts to walk out. At this point his daughter chimes in.)

Daughter: “You people are ridiculous!”

(She promptly followed her dad out and left.)

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Clucked Out Early

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Popular

(It’s just before Thanksgiving and I’m walking past the meat department when I overhear this exchange…)

Customer: “So, do these turkeys get any bigger?”

Meat Clerk: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Meat Clerk: “Because they’re dead, ma’am.”

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Don’t Play Cat And Mouse With The Snake

| USA | Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in a pet store that does not sell live mice for food, only as pets. There’s plenty of other pet stores around us that do sell feeder mice that we send people to if they need feeder mice. We’re strict about this but customers regularly will lie to try and get mice anyway. A customer who’s tried buying our mice for snake food before comes in, this time with a young daughter.)

Customer: “Where are your mice? I wanna buy one for my little girl.”

Me: “I’ll show you them, but this is actually for a pet, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s a pet. That’s what you want, right, honey?”

(The customer’s daughter nods. I start to explain their care while I open up the cage so the daughter can hold them and pick out a mouse.)

Me: “Make sure you wash your hands after holding them. We just treated for fleas.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “Well, because our area has a big flea problem all our furry animals get flea medication put on them. It’s safe, but you don’t really want it in your mouth.”

Customer: “So, uh… it’s like poison?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s safe.”

Customer: “I don’t want poison in the tank… How long does it take to wear off?”

Me: “Well, we just treated them a few days ago so about a month. I’m sorry, tank?”

Customer: “Yeah, so, I’m just gonna go somewhere else. I can’t believe you’re trying to kill my snake!”

Me: “We’ve told you before we don’t sell them for snake food. You said it was a pet.”

Customer: “Yeah, because if I told you it was for a snake you wouldn’t sell it!”

Me: “Part of why we wouldn’t sell it is because it would kill your snake.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you shouldn’t put poison on them?”

Me: “It’s not a problem when they aren’t being used for snake food.”

Customer: “But what about if people buy them for snake food?”

Me: “Then it’s their fault for lying to us.”

Customer: “But otherwise you won’t sell the d*** mouse!”

(He stormed out with his daughter.)

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