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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Let The Cat Out Of The Bag

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I work for moving truck company. When your truck breaks down, you call me.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Truck Company] Emergency Road Service. My name is [My Name]. May I have your first and last name?”

Customer: “LOOK HERE, B****! YOU DON’T NEED MY NAME! MY TRUCK IS ON FIRE AND I’VE GOT 8,000 PARAKEETS IN THE BACK OF IT!”

Me: “I understand, sir. I suggest you hang up and call 911 and give them your location. If you’re on the highway they can usually find you by your nearest mile-marker or exit—”

Customer: “YOU NEED TO SEND SOMEONE OUT HERE NOW! YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS F****** PIECE OF S***! I’M NOT GOING TO CALL ANYBODY!”

Me: “Sir, your animals’ lives are in danger and yours might be, too. Please disconnect this call and phone the fire department.”

Customer: “IT DON’T MATTER! THEY’RE ALL ALREADY DEAD AND I’M OUT OF THE D*** TRUCK! THEY WERE FOR STUFFING!”

Me: “Sir, are you telling me that you have thousands of dead parakeets for taxidermy in the back of your truck and that you’re still not going to call the emergency line to get the fire department to come put our truck out? Sir, are you aware that our policy dictates that you may not have animals in our vehicles, dead or alive?”

Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A F*** WHAT YOUR POLICY DICTATES! I WAS GOING TO MAKE THOUSANDS OFF THOSE BIRDS AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO PAY ME FOR THEM BECAUSE YOUR TRUCK BURST INTO FLAMES!”

(I just hit the insurance line without a word, and went on break. My poor supervisor pinged me when I got back, laughing himself sick.)

Bachelor Chow Is The Cat’s Meow

| Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am the customer in this story. The vet sells cat and dog food in the lobby. Though my mum takes my cat here when he’s ill and to buy food, I have never been to buy food before.)

Me: *picks up a large bag of cat food and takes it to the desk* “I’ll have this, please!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “That’ll be £15.00 please.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *I pay*

Vet’s Receptionist: “We have to note down sales in this book. Can I have your surname and your cat’s name, please?”

Me: *without thinking, I look up in surprise and say* “Huh? How did you know I have a cat?!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “Well… unless you plan on eating that yourself…”

Got Ants In Your Pants About Buying This Animal

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a well known pet store chain. Late at night, just a half hour before closing, we get a phone call from a tired sounding woman.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pet Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounds of customer trying to silence a barking dog* “Uh, yeah, do you have any anteaters?”

Me: *I pause because I’m a little surprised by this* “I don’t believe we do.”

Caller: “Are you sure? Because you kind of hesitated like you weren’t sure.”

Me: “You said anteaters? Is that a name of a product or—”

Caller: “No, like the animal. You know, like an anteater? Do you sell them?”

Me: “I’m sure we don’t.”

Caller: “You hesitated again. Maybe you should go make sure.”

(The store is not very large and neither are the animals we sell: nothing bigger than a guinea pig. I tell her I will check and put her on hold for a few seconds. I inform the working manager and he tells me to just tell her I didn’t find any anteaters, which is what I do.)

Caller: “Aw, man, really? I really need an anteater. Do you know if the other store carries them? What is it?”

Me: “[Competitor]?”

Caller: “Yeah! Do they have them? Do they have anteaters?”

Me: “I’m very certain they do not.”

Caller: “Are you sure? You kind of paused. Can you make sure?”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can check a competitor’s stock but I am pretty sure they don’t sell anteaters.”

(After exclaiming her disappointment once again, she described to me her reason for needing an anteater. She told me she has a cousin who has a serious ant problem in her apartment and was told by a friend that they had solved a similar problem using an anteater, which, they said, can be purchased at some pet stores. What she intended to do with the large exotic animal after it served its purpose is still a mystery.)