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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Tried Explaining Until The Cows Came Home

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “What type of leather is this bag made from?”

Coworker: “It’s made of cow.”

Customer: “What’s a cow?”

(My coworker tries to hide his general shock at this question.)

Coworker: “You know the black and white spotted animal? It lives on a farm?”

Customer: *shakes her head* “I don’t know.”

Coworker: “Where do we get our milk from?”

Customer: *shakes her head again* “I don’t know.”

(My coworker stopped short of actually mooing like a cow.)

Introduction To Reality

| CA, USA | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(We do dog intros with the owner’s dog and our dog to make sure that when our dog goes home it won’t attack their dog and vice versa. During the intros we ask the owner to wait outside so that we can see how their dog reacts one on one with the other dog. The dog the old woman has picked to do a dog intro with isn’t friendly with her dog at all. She tried to bite several times and the woman’s dog looks very uncomfortable.)

Me: “Unfortunately, your dog and our dog didn’t get along, so I am not able to approve this dog intro. But if there is another dog that you like we can do another dog intro.”

Older Woman: “But I wanted that one. I want her!”

Me: “I am really sorry but I cannot let you take that puppy home. She tried to bite your dog.”

Older Woman: “But that’s the dog I want. OH, I really want her. I am going to take her home.”

Me: “She was being really unfriendly with your dog. Your dog was being very nice, but was trying to get away from her. I would be happy to do another dog intro, though, if you have another dog in mind.”

(She keeps telling me how much she wants the dog.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, we are not allowed to let you take the dog home. She would just attack your dog.”

Older Woman: “Okay, I’ll see if there are anymore dogs.”

Me: “That sounds great! Unfortunately you cannot take your dog out to the kennels, but I would be happy to hold your dog for you while you look!”

Older Woman: “Okay.”

(I sat in the lobby with her dog for almost an hour, waiting. People went out into the kennels to make sure she was still there. Eventually she came back and said she didn’t want to see any other dogs and left still mumbling about how she still wanted that dog.)

Pet Owners Should Not Be Airheads

| USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes in with her eight-year-old son. The fish are in small, plastic cups for the customers to view.)

Son: “Mommy! Look at the fishies!”

Customer: *looks at fish* “How nice.”

Son: “Can I get one?”

Customer: “Sure. Pick a fish, and let’s go.”

(They come to the counter, holding a fish.)

Son: “But, mommy, doesn’t he need a tank, and filter?”

Customer:  “No, don’t be silly. He can live in the cup.”

Son: “But he needs a filter for air!”

Customer:  “Don’t be so ridiculous. He’s a fish. He doesn’t need air. He breathes water.”

Me: “Actually, he’s right. This kind of fish needs at least a two gallon tank to live in, as well as a filter, gravel, and food.”

(The customer storms out with her son, mumbling about how we were ‘being stupid.’)