icon_petsanimals

Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

icon_liarsscammers

Sadly You Have To Listen To His Snake Oil

| CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Pets & Animals

(I work in the back room of a pet shop where we keep the live pets. We have a large display case at the front entrance with several full and well-lit reptile cages, with a sign in the middle that says “more reptiles are located inside.” A man walks up to the cages, examines the reptiles inside them closely, then looks at the sign for a good minute or two. He then walks into the room, past the other reptile and amphibian cages without even noticing them, and approaches me while I am helping another customer with a snake.)

Customer #1: *standing directly in front of a chameleon cage, and cutting me off mid-sentence* “Where are your reptiles?”

Me: “Um…” *gesturing to the wall of tanks* “Well, we have these here, and three rows of cages at the front entrance.”

Customer #1: “BUT WHAT IS IN THEM?!”

Me: “If you look at the bottom left, each habitat is clearly labeled with its resident. See, this one is a tarantula and this here is a milk snake. In the front are various geckos, and here we have turtles and frogs…”

Customer #1: *clearly ignoring me, staring into a cage* “What is this?!”

Me: *gesturing to large tag on the bottom left* “This is an adult male Jackson Chameleon.”

Customer #1: “Well, how big will it get?”

Me: “He’s already an adult. This is his full size.”

Customer #1: “But I want him to get bigger!”

Me: *at this point I am seriously losing patience, and so is my other customer* “They just don’t.”

Customer #1: “I used to have a snake once. I put him in a tank bigger than all those, but because the tank was so big he got too big and I had to give him his own room.”

(He gestures to row of four 55-gallon tanks, implying the tank was over 200 gallons. Considering he seems to have no common sense, seems to know nothing about reptiles, and no beginner snakes would outgrow that tank, I strongly believe he is lying, but I say nothing,)

Customer #1: “He ended up getting so big he ate my cousin’s Labrador! I warned him not to bring the dog over but he didn’t listen. He thought it would be safe but it wasn’t.”

Customer #2: “What kind of snake was it?”

Customer #1: “A ball python!”

(At this point Customer #2 and I were trying really hard to not laugh, because ball pythons are the most common snake in the reptile trade, and barely reach 5 feet long. They could probably eat a rabbit, but DEFINITELY not a large or even medium size dog. The man was a bad liar, because he didn’t even look upset while telling this story. Just excited. And when he finished the tall tale, he just said he would be back for “that lizard,” meaning the chameleon, and walked away. He thankfully never came back.)

icon_familykids

No Clue At The Zoo, Part 2

| WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am currently shopping in a local feed store for some baby chicks. I like to pick them myself, but I always make sure to have a store employee help me. This day, there are quite a lot of people in the store. I ask an employee for help and we go over to the chicks, where there is a mother and her children around looking at them.)

Employee: “Does anyone here need any chicks?”

Mother: “Nope, we are just looking.”

Employee: “Okay, I am going to have to ask you to move because this lady would like to purchase some chicks.”

Mother: “In a few minutes. My kids are looking at them right now.”

Employee: “Ma’am, please step aside so that this customer may pick out and purchase her chicks. I promise you can look at them again after.”

Mother: “No! My children are having fun! You don’t want to spoil their fun, do you?”

(At this point, the kids are distracted by the bunnies anyways, but their mother stubbornly stands in front of the chick brooder, refusing to move.)

Employee: “Ma’am, your children aren’t even here anymore. This lady would like to purchase some of these chicks. Please move so that she can see into the brooder to pick them.”

Mother: “Well, I never! I have never been treated so badly at a zoo!”

Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t a zoo. It’s a feed store. Now the gentleman has asked you several times to move politely. I won’t be so polite. Move.”

(I gently pushed my way past her and started opening the brooder to get a better look. She stomped off in a huff and complained at the front desk. I am a regular at that store, and when I explained the situation to the manager, she laughed at the woman and told her she supported her employees right to ask her to move.)

Related:
No Clue At The Zoo

icon_petsanimals

Making A Dog’s Dinner Out Of It

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(It was a usual problem, client comes in with an adult dog that has been vomiting and having some diarrhea. I start to go over a few basic questions with him.)

Me: “So, has everything else been normal before this started? Nothing out of the ordinary?”

Client: “That’s right; it just started randomly yesterday.”

Me: “And there’s absolutely nothing he could have gotten into, like chemicals or sweets?”

Client: “Nope, not that I can think of.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of dog food does he eat?”

Client: “Oh, he doesn’t eat dog food.”

Me: “Oh? So you make his meals? Boiled chicken and the like?”

Client: “Not exactly. I feed him what he likes to eat.”

Me: “…and what might that be?”

Client: “Well, yesterday I gave him two blocks of Colby Jack cheese and some leftover chocolate donuts, and the day before he had a few chicken wings and some ice cream.”

Me: “…”

(Needless to say, we did some X-rays to make sure there were no chicken bones, gave the owner a list of things you should not feed your dog, and sent him home with some actual dog food.)

icon_petsanimals

We Are Siamese If You Don’t Please

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m the customer here. I have two long haired twin male cats that look Siamese but aren’t. I adore them and my debit card is a picture of them. I get asked about them a lot. I’m at the checkout buying cat food.)

Cashier: “Oh, they’re beautiful. Are they yours?”

(Someone grunts behind me.)

Me: “Yes, they’re mine. They’re twins!”

Cashier: “Wow! How old—”

Lady Behind Me: “Get real. They aren’t yours. You stole that picture from the Google!”

Me: *turning to face her* “No, I didn’t. Their names are [Names] and they’re mine. I’ve had them since they were five weeks old.”

Lady Behind Me: “That’s impossible. Cats don’t look like that! Quit lying! This girl is lying about her cats!”

(I pull out my phone and start scrolling through my pictures, where there are about 500 pictures of my cats.)

Me: “See? Mine.”

Lady Behind Me: “How much?”

Me: “Excuse me? They aren’t for sale, ma’am. ”

Lady Behind Me: “Everything has a price. How much are they? I’ll give you $1000 each.”

Me: “Lady, you can’t afford them. Nice try. Leave me alone.”

(I turn to pay and get my receipt, and the lady grabs my arm.)

Lady Behind Me: “TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS!”

Me: “You. Can’t. Afford. Them. Go. Away!”

Lady Behind Me: “Five grand each!”

(I had enough. All the money in the world couldn’t buy my cats, they’re mine. I turned to the lady.)

Me: “You mean you’ll give me ten thousand dollars for my cats, right now, today?”

Lady Behind Me: *smiling* “Yes, dear. I will. What is your address? I’ll pick them up tonight.”

Me: “It’s 123 Learn What No Means Avenue. Now leave me alone. My cats are hungry.”

Lady Behind Me: “I will follow you! I’ll get those cats!”

Me: “I dare you. The police will be waiting at my house for you. Now, go away.”

(Instead of buying her things, she followed me to the parking lot, screaming to everyone about how I wouldn’t sell her my cats. She followed me home, where an officer was waiting. She got a fine and screamed that I didn’t know what real money is. I told her I had more than enough money. I paid for the cat food with the last twenty dollars I had to my name, but she didn’t need to know that.)

icon_petsanimals

Not Made Of The Right Stuff

| TX, USA | Pets & Animals

(Our store is having a promo: with any Brand purchase you get a free stuffed dog.)

Customer: *very excited* “What does the free dog look like?”

Coworker: “We have different colors.” *brings out four different colors of stuffed dog*

Customer: *looking very disappointed and annoyed* “Oh, they’re fake…”

Page 5/90First...34567...Last