Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

The Biggest Pest Isn’t The Wasp

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I use to work as an admin for a pest company. The techs make their own schedules with monthly visits to customers and fit in people that have called for re-treatments. Usually when people call in asking for an extra service I can get them to wait a day or two to help the techs.)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a wasp in my screen porch!”

Me: “Oh, dear! Well, to help your tech, do you know where the nest might be in your porch?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. Have you seen them flying in a certain direction?”

Customer: “No. It’s just one that got inside. Can you just send the tech now to kill it!”

Me: “Wait, you want me to have the tech go off route now to kill one wasp?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Have you seen a lot of activity outside?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Let me see what I can do.”

(I put her on hold and tap my fingers for a few moments and have a snack. It’s our busy season and that route is our largest and busiest with only one tech near it. I wasn’t about to call him for one wasp.)

Me: “Thanks for holding. I called the tech and he won’t be able to fit you in today. I could put in a request for tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! I pay you guys good money to take care of pests! What am I supposed to do about this wasp?”

Me: “Hit it with a rolled up magazine.”

Customer: “What?! How dare you! I want my tech to call me!”

Me: “I can do that. Have a nice day.”

(I send a message for the tech to call her. Two hours later he ran in for supplies.)

Tech: “What the h*** was that all about?! She wanted me to go kill one wasp!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I told her to hit it with a magazine.”

Tech: “So did I! I’m not going 20 minutes off route to spray one wasp! I’m lucky I found the time to pick up more chemicals!”

(Seriously, yeah, you are paying us, but so are tons of other people. Grow up and slap it with a newspaper. Sadly, that was not the first or last call I got like that. One involved a dead hamster under the stove. Another was a frog… in their yard.)

It Hasn’t Gone Belly-Up

Rolesville, NC, USA | Pets & Animals

(My seven-month-old puppy eats a hook off of a suction cup, We need to have abdominal surgery done to fish it out before it pokes a hole in her insides. The surgery goes well, but a couple weeks afterward, I notice a large black spot at one end of the incision. I call the vet in a panic, even though my dog is quite cheerfully bouncing around. They tell me to bring her on in. After the vet looks at the spot, we have our verdict.)

Vet: “That’s her belly button, Mr. [My Name]. No charge. Glad she’s doing well.”

Well I’ll Be Ducked!

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am helping someone on the phone register themselves as a chaperone for summer camp. Everything is going just fine, until…)

Me: “Okay, sir, I need the date of your last tetanus shot. I understand it may be out of date but I have to enter a date to get your registration finished. Most likely the last time you had one would have been going into seventh grade unless you had to have one for a medical reason.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I had a medical reason… I just can’t remember off the top of my head. Let me ask my wife.” *in background* “Honey, when was I bitten by that duck?”

(Luckily, I was able to mute the phone while I laughed and the wife got him a date. How on earth are you bitten by a duck and why does that result in a tetanus shot?!)

Jurassic Park Doesn’t Live Up To Expectation

| China | History, Pets & Animals

(I work in a museum of paleontology at an information desk. The word in Chinese for paleontology literally means “ancient animals study,” so there should be no mistaking what it is. I am chatting with my coworker when a visitor starts looking around, very confused.)

Coworker: “Can I help you?”

Visitor: “Yeah, where are the living animals?”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Visitor: “Where are the living animals? These are all dead.”

Coworker: “Uh… at the zoo?”

Something Fishy About That Complaint

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Non-Dialogue, Pets & Animals

I work at a major chain pet store as customer service and a pet care specialist. I love animals and enjoy helping customers get set up with new pets, and I have several customers who come in and specifically ask for me. Unfortunately, a big part of the job is handling returns of pets who are deceased. My job is to replace the pet and advise them on anything that they could do to ensure success in keeping the pet.

In our store, customers fill out satisfaction surveys online that have an optional comment field. The managers post the comments each week. One day, I get called in to the manager’s office. She sternly tells me that there was a serious complaint about me in the surveys. She reads it to me and I turn redder and redder as she reads the long description of how a customer came in to return a bunch of fish that had died and I did not express sympathy for her loss. “Her cold, uncaring attitude and clear disregard for my emotional well-being and satisfaction as a customer make me feel too upset and traumatized to return to your store. I hope that you discipline her and perhaps terminate her as she doesn’t exemplify the love of animals that your store claims to represent.”

I was crying by this point. By the list of fish that the customer had described, I remembered the customers and that the interaction with them hadn’t been unusual at all. I had even said I was sorry to hear that their fish died and I spent 20 minutes with them trying to help them sort out why. They had even thanked me.

Despite my great record and all the compliments about me from other customers, my manager penalized me for the complaint, suggesting that I might consider finding another job if I didn’t care for animals. (She knew that I had everything from fish to reptiles to cats myself, so that was BS.) I had my hours cut and had to go through extra training.

Two months later, my manager came to me and apologized, saying that a customer had come in saying that they felt bad because they put in a joke complaint about an employee and were worried that she had gotten fired. Guess who? The reason they gave my manager: “We were drunk or high or something, and were just upset about the fish. Anyway, we’re sorry. She was actually really nice to us.”

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