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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

As Sick As A Parrot

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

Father: “Weasel.”

(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

Father: “You sure?”

Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

Child: “Ferret.”

Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

It’s A Grey(hound) Area

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I was working in the call centre for a well-known bus company named after a type of dog. An ad was running at the time for a companion fare (buy one, get one) and it featured images of the type of dog the company is named after. One afternoon I get a call in regards to the pricing and rules for the fare. After giving this info the caller has one last question:)

Caller: “So, to use this companion fare, does my companion HAVE to be a dog?”

Out Back Fishing

| Nanuet, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m the manager on duty. At the time I’m back in the aquatics department feeding the fish when a customer approaches.)

Me: “Hello. Can I help you with anything, Ma’am?”

Customer: *points to one of the tanks* “Do you have any more of these in the back?”

Me: *I assume she’s gesturing to the fake plants, which we sell* “Possibly, but we also have them out on the floor. I can show you the aisle.”

(I take her over to the decor aisle.)

Customer: “No, not those!” *walks back over to the tank, jabbing her finger at the glass*  “Those!”

Me: “The… fish?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “I’m… sorry. But, ah… no. These tanks are the only place we keep the fish. I don’t put them in the stockroom.”

Customer: *huffs and walks away*