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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Ignoring The Elephant In The Room

| Corning, NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I’m a cashier at a local store. A man and a boy about seven walk in.)

Me: “Did you know you have a sticker of an elephant on your back?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, my son here put something on my back a moment ago before walking in. I thought it was one of those ‘kick me’ signs.”

Me: *laughing* “Nope, just an elephant.”

(Overhearing, another customer walks over:)

Customer #2: “Maybe it’s opening its mouth.”

(Customer #1 gets a very confused look on his face and very slowly turns around, obviously trying to understand what Customer #2 meant, as was I.)

Customer #2: “What?”

(Pauses.)

Customer #2: “You know, to say ‘kick me?'”

Making False Bald Statements

| KS, USA | Pets & Animals, School

(I am currently working in the birds of prey section when a group of students and a few chaperones walk in.)

Chaperone #1: *points at golden eagle* “Look kids! It’s the state bird of America.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s actually a golden eagle. The bald eagle is the national bird.”

Chaperone #1: “I went to school for four years. I think I know what the state bird of America is!”

Me: “I’m not questioning your intelligence, ma’am, but America does not have a ‘state bird.’ It’s national symbol is, in fact, the bald eagle. If you look at the sign in front of the exhibit you will see that this is a golden eagle.”

Chaperone #1: “That’s a f****** bald eagle! I’m a history teacher! I know my s***!”

Chaperone #2: “Michelle, you are not a teacher! You are merely a chaperone. If you continue to act like this you will never be a chaperone again.”

Chaperone #1: *dumbfounded*

Student: “You tell her, Mrs. [Chaperone #2]!”

You’re Minnow Good

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(A customer comes into our fish department and points at the minnows.)

Customer: “I want 30 these!”

(Being the new girl in training, I count out 30 minnows, bag them, and start tying off the bag. Then, after watching me the entire time closely, the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “They too small! You grabbed small ones!”

(So my trainer comes over to see what the problem is. I explain I grabbed all the minnows from the large minnow tank and my trainer confirms this with the customer. However the customer continues:)

Customer: “She grabbed all small ones and I want big ones!”

(The coworker training me wanted to choke him with a bag but instead dumped the 30 fish back into the tank and re-caught 30 ‘bigger’ minnows. They were all the same size.)