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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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He’s Horsing Around

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I help out at a friend’s riding stable. It’s not uncommon for people whose only experience with horses is watching Bonanza reruns on TV to then claim to be experienced riders.)

Me: “Have you had much riding experience?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know all about horses! Bring me a good, fast one.”

(I saddle a decent horse and bring him out for this guy.)

Customer: “How do I get on?”

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Swan Song

Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(As I approach the register, the customer in front of me is just stepping away. His daughter, who appears to be about seven or eight years old, starts informing the cashier of the environmental dangers of plastic bags.)

Girl: “…and if one of them gets into the water it will kill a swan.”

Cashier: *trying to humor her* “Really?”

Girl: “Yes, I’ve seen it happen.”

Dad: *realizing his child is not beside him* “Come on! Leave the cashier alone.”

(The cashier rings up my purchase.)

Cashier: “Would you like a bag with that?”

Me: “Yes. Even though it might kill a swan.”

Cashier: *without missing a beat* “She’s seen it happen.”

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Too Bad About Their Friends, The Unicorns

| Beach Haven, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I am browsing around a store that sells hermit crabs and happen to overhear a customer talking to herself.)

Customer: “Hermit crabs! They’re real!”