icon_petsanimals

Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

icon_petsanimals

Deanerys Is Losing Her Touch

| VA, USA | Pets & Animals

(Back when I volunteered at the aquarium, we had an exhibit with Komodo dragons that I would occasionally be assigned to. On my first time being assigned to that exhibit, this conversation happened.)

Kid: “Are those real dragons?”

Me: “Yes.”

Kid: “MAKE THEM BREATHE FIRE.”

Me: “I can’t do that.”

Kid: “Yeah, you can. They’re dragons; that means they can breathe fire.”

Me: “They don’t listen to me.”

Kid: “Oh. You should train them more.”

icon_petsanimals

George And Gracie Take To The Air

| NYC, New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(Our store is in an incredibly affluent neighborhood, which is primarily white, well-educated, and often fairly pompous. We have placed a very beautiful humpback whale sculpture in the window display and many people have stopped in to inquire after it.)

Woman: “HI! I was just wondering what that creature in the window is supposed to be?”

Me: “The humpback whale?”

Woman: “Yes, that. Does it fly?”

Me: “No… it’s a whale.”

Woman: *confused* “Oh.”

Me: “It lives in the ocean like the other whales.”

Woman: “Oh! So it’s supposed to be like a real whale?”

Me: “Yes, it’s a sculpture of a humpback whale, which live in the ocean.”

Woman: “Weird. Thanks!”

(Then she left.)

icon_holidays

An A-Moose-ing Interaction

| Gatineau, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Holidays, Pets & Animals

(It is Halloween. My father and I want to get new licenses for the family car he is giving me. My father is wearing a moose costume and the lady at the desk is dressed as a devil. I do not wear a costume.)

Lady: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Father: “Hi, we would like to get new plates for her.”

Lady: “Very well. *to me* “Here are the forms to fill.” *to my father* “Are you a moose or a deer?”

Father: “Wait, let me check…” *he places his hands around his mouth in a cup position* “MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

(The lady, I, and the whole waiting area where people are sitting, have eyes wide open and dropped jaws.)

Father: “Yep, I believe I am a moose!”

Supervisor: *coming over* “[Lady], is everything okay?”

Lady: *cracking up laughing* “I believe a moose sang me a love song.”

Supervisor: “Did you moose-sing back to him?”

Me: *face-palm*

Shot Yourself In The Foot

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you not sell kangaroo meat anymore?”

Me: “It should be over this way; however, it may have moved somewhere else.”

(As I take the customer to where I’m pretty sure the kangaroo meat is kept, he continues talking.)

Customer: “It must be because they’ve stopped the shooting. No one knows how to shoot anymore, so there’s no one to shoot the kangaroos! That’s why you don’t have any! People these days, they don’t know how to shoot!”

(At this point we reach the right section, and sure enough, the fridge is packed with various brands of kangaroo meat.)

Me: “Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh.”

icon_petsanimals

A Thief In Wolf’s Clothing

| CO, USA | Pets & Animals

(I’ve just left a pet store with my dog, when I notice that my dog is chewing something. I check and it’s a treat bone from within the store. I take it from him and bring it back in.)

Me: “So… I kind of have to pay for this. My dog took it with him out the store.”

Clerk: “Oh, the huskie? That’s so cute. What’s the guy’s name?”

Me: “…Bandit.”

Page 3/9412345...Last