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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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The Look On His Face Was Pure Goldfish

| WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am dealing with a customer who’s raising hell over late fees on his account that we refuse to waive. Notably, he pulled this same stunt on me the previous week, though bizarrely he doesn’t seem to recognize me until we until we get to this part of the exchange:)

Customer: “Do you know how much I spend in here? What if I said that, thanks to you, I’m never coming back and you can kiss my business goodbye?!”

Me: “I’d remind you that you said the same thing not more than seven days ago, yet here you are again.”

Customer: “What?! How do you know that?”

Me: “If you check your receipt you’ll find I’m the one who served you then. Also, you’re wearing the same outfit as the last time you were in here. It kind of makes you stand out, actually.”

(The customer looks down at the receipt in his hand, then to his flashy ensemble of expensive clothes. He looks back at me in shock.)

Customer: “Wait… you guys actually remember stuff like that?”

Me: “I’m actually surprised you don’t remember me considering it was only a week ago.”

Customer: “Uh… well, I do, but… s***, I thought you guys were like goldfish! Two hours and you forget everything… or something…”

(He eventually agreed to pay his late fees, still mumbling about how he couldn’t believe we still recalled who he was.)

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Trauma-Free Cleaning

| UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in an office that handles cleaning and we generally get snobby younger ladies as clients that just like to complain. I answer the phone:)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your lady traumatized my dog. I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. What did you say?”

Customer: “Your cleaning gal traumatized my dog and has made her suffer all day. I want my money back!”

Me: *at this point I’m concerned about the dog since it is a newer girl I don’t know* “I’m sorry, but I need to ask what she was doing to traumatize your dog. Did she hurt it? Should I make a report?”

Customer: “No. She dropped my precious baby-dog’s toy in the toilet after she cleaned it, and my poor baby was in the bathroom crying to get it back. She is traumatized!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, are you sure that the dog didn’t put it in the toilet itself while trying to get a drink?”

Customer: “She is a PRIZED POMERANIAN! She wouldn’t ever dream of drinking out of the toilet! Now, I demand my refund! I have to make her an appointment with the therapist!”

Me: “No, ma’am. I cannot issue a refund because your dog dropped its toy in the toilet. However if the cleaning was unacceptable, I can come out and—”

Customer: “No, the cleaning was fine. I demand my refund within 24 hours, and I will be calling the Better Business Bureau about your ‘business’!” *click*

(My boss laughed for a solid five minutes before she could even say anything.)

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Take A Shot At Being Nice

| NY, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I answer the phone at the animal hospital I work at.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Location] Animal Hospital. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer]; I’m calling to find out what shots my cat needs to be up to date.”

Me: “Of course, let me pull up your account and check that for you.”

(I enter the information, pulling up the cat’s record and read off the shots the cat is due for, and it goes smoothly until we get to the FVRCP vaccine, which is also called distemper. Despite what the name may sound like, it is a vaccine for feline panleukopenia virus, an infection (there is also a canine version).)

Customer: “So the distemper shot… that will make my cat nicer?”

Me: “Ah, no, ma’am. The vaccine doesn’t affect behavior or temperament. It’s to prevent a type of virus.”

(Sadly we get asked that A LOT.)