Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Beware The Milks!

| USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

(I worked for our phone line for nearly two years before the stress got to me and I had to be moved to another section. One phone call from a guest still plagues my mind, however, and I will never *ever* forget it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; can I help you find something?”

Caller: *with the heaviest accent I have ever heard in my lifetime* “I has many milks.”

Me: “…I beg your pardon?”

Caller: “No, you see… I has many many milks. I am allergic to the milks and have a car that was going to do the breaking down. I buy many organic milks because the cows they eat the grass and I can drink the milks. So get many milks because cannot drive to store cause car going to break down. But after car break down, cannot drink milks! Still allergic! You need call the farm because the cows are not drinking the grass and come get many milks. They will go bad!”

Me: “Ma’am, may I ask a question. Are you lactose intolerant?”

Caller: “Very much so!”

Me: “I am, too, and if I may make a recommendation, [Brand of milk that is lactose free] will be safe to digest at a lower price than organic. Organic milk still contains lactose.”

Caller: “No! The cows; they are not eating the grass! I cannot drink the milk! Call the farm!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I cannot contact the supplier. If you search the brand on the Internet you may find their customer service number.”

Caller: “Fine, now come get the milks.”

Me: “We do not do home item retrieval, ma’am. You would have to bring the items to our store to return them.”

Caller: “No! The car, she is broken! I cannot drive it! You come get the milks!”

Me: “Perhaps you can borrow a friend or family member’s car or bum a ride from them?”

Caller: “No! You come get them!”

Me: “I cannot, ma’am.”

Caller: “FINE! Get manager!”

Me: “Right away. Please hold.” *goes to transfer line but she hangs up the moment I pull the phone away* “I can’t believe that just happened…”

Coworker: “Please, for the love of all that is beautiful, transfer that call to me next time.”

(She never called back.)

Guys These Days Are Easily Bugged

| Aurora, CO, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(I am a female front desk associate working at a small hotel. This means most evenings I am the only employee on site.)

Guest: “There is a bug flying around my room. Can someone please come take care of it?”

(Note that this was an adult male. Yes, I killed the bug for him.)

This Customer Is A Real Treat

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Can you recommend a dog treat?”

Me: *grabbing a container of treats my dogs especially enjoy* “Well, these are good.”

Customer: “Have you tasted them?”

Chewing Them Out About Being Chewed Out

| The Netherlands | Pets & Animals, Technology

(It is around 2002. We just bought a gerbil and it is a fast one. She escapes many times. My dad is trying to access the Internet, but it won’t connect. He is mostly a patient man. He calls the provider and has quite an argument with the person on the phone.)

Dad: “I checked it all! It should be working; are you sure you have done it all?”

Customer Service Desk: “Yes, sir, everything at our end is working perfectly fine. Our system is showing is that your Internet should be working.”

Dad: “But it isn’t! Are you really sure? Aren’t you looking at our neighbours or something?!”

Customer Service Desk: “No, sir, it should be working.”

Dad: “Fine, I’ll call you back…”

(Agitated as he was, he started looking at every part of the connection until he found a cable chewed up. The gerbil managed to bite the Internet cable in half… Later he called the provider to apologise.)

But What Does The Fox Say?

| UK | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A family bring their cat in for a check-up, concerned about a puncture wound through her lip. They say the cat was outdoors for longer than usual and then came home with this wound. I examine the cat:)

Me: “I think she might have been hit by a car.”

Owner: “No, she can’t have been. She’s still alive.”

Me: “Well… see her claws here? They’re all scuffed? That’s very common in cats after a road traffic accident.”

Owner: “She has a hole in her lip; I think she was bitten by a fox.”

Me: “I’m not sure about that; she has a lot of other wounds as well, and they don’t really fit with being attacked by a fox.”

Owner: “She has a bite wound in her lip like a fox got hold of her.”

Me: “Yes, she does have a wound in her lip, but see how some of her teeth are also chipped, particularly her canine teeth? Look, the hole looks like it lines up with this top, broken canine tooth. If she had been hit by a car, it might have caused this damage to her teeth.”

Owner: “She can’t have been hit by a car. Our other cat was hit by a car and we found him dead by the side of the road.”

Me: “Well, if the car was going slower it could have hit her without killing her.”

Owner: “Cars don’t drive slowly down our road. If she had been hit by a car she would be dead. It must have been a fox.”

(The owner wouldn’t let me treat the cat until I said the damage was done by a fox.)

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