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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Turn That Arrrrr Into An Awww

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(It’s about a week before Halloween. I’m working at a pet store when a man walks in dressed like a pirate. The entire time we’re having this conversation my coworker and I are trying not to laugh.)

Customer: “I would like to look at your parrots.”

Me: “Parrots? Yeah, we have those right over there in the bird section.”

(He asks a few questions about the various birds we have on sale and eventually decides on a Sun Conure.)

Customer: “Thank you! Now the seas won’t be so lonely!”

(He came in a few days later with his new pet to buy some bird toys and to show us the tiny pirate bandana he made it.)

This Prank Is On A Roll

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I am a vet tech at a busy vet clinic. A client comes in with his intact male puppy. After the physical exam, the dog rolls over onto his back in a submissive stance. The owner starts freaking out.)

Owner: “His testicles are rolling up!”

(The vet and I look at each other a bit confused.)

Owner: “The breeder said that the dog’s testicles would go back into his abdomen if he rolled onto his back! I’ve spent the last ten weeks preventing my dog from rolling over!”

(We laughed about this for weeks afterwards.)

Giraffe’s Are The Sweetest Animal

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(My family owns a specialty chocolate shop that’s known for doing molded chocolate figures of animals and sports equipment. I’ve been working here since I was old enough to see over the counter. It’s been slow and I’m the only employee here.)

Customer: *walking in* “Hi. I was wondering if you have any more chocolate-covered giraffes?”

Me: “…Chocolate covered? No. We do have chocolate giraffes…”

Customer: “So you have chocolate-covered giraffes!”

Me: “Um, no. We have solid chocolate giraffes.”

Customer: “Yeah! So you have chocolate-covered giraffes!”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t. I’m not going to go to Lincoln Park Zoo and get you a giraffe and pour chocolate over it.”

Customer: “But you just said you have chocolate-covered giraffes.”

Me: “Chocolate giraffes! We do not carry chocolate-covered giraffes! I’m pretty sure that’s illegal…”

Customer: “But I don’t get why you don’t have chocolate-covered giraffes! You should have chocolate-covered giraffes…”

Me: “SIR! We don’t have any chocolate-covered giraffes! What we have are lots of very small, three-inch giraffe figures that are molded out of chocolate!”

Customer: “Oh! …How is that different from what I said?”