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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

More Than Just A Pet Hate

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(The owner brings in a little, quite adorable, mixed breed dog. After talking about everything under the sun about her pet’s healthcare we get to the topic of having her pet spayed, which the owner agrees to.)

Me: “We have to wait a couple more months but this is an estimate for how much the spay is going to cost, so you can go ahead and plan for it.”

Owner: *looks at estimate and her face gets really red and she yells* “It says here you have to put my pet under anesthesia!”

Me: “Well, yes, she is getting spayed. It is a it is a surgical procedure where we have to go into the abdomen and remove the—”

Owner: “You are trying to rip me off! There is no reason my pet should have to be asleep for that!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is a abdominal surgical procedure—”

Owner: “I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN’T JUST HOLD HER DOWN AND SPAY HER! I WAS AWAKE FOR MY C-SECTION!”

Me: “Well, that is a very different procedure than the one we are discussing. Doing surgery on an animal is different than a human.”

(The owner goes into a rant about how she read on the Internet that vets like to rip people off and that her pet will die if she is put under anesthesia.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you want someone to hold you down, cut into your abdomen, and remove your reproductive organs while you are awake!?”

Owner: “NO, I WOULDN’T, BUT I’M A PAYING CUSTOMER. ISN’T THE CUSTOMER ALWAYS RIGHT?!”

Me: “NO! We are a medical practice, not Macy’s. Your pet is our patient.”

Owner: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing! I’m going to take my pet to a more competent vet!”

(I then gave her her pet’s records and off she went ranting and raving without even paying her office visit fee.)

Boy, What A Problem!

| USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m a vet tech. The first appointment of the day is two ladies in their 30s bring in a young Shih Tzu puppy for its first visit. The owners tell me that this is their first puppy.)

Me: “Wow, what a cute little guy. How long have you had him?”

Owner: “Him? The breeder told us it was a girl.”

(I lift puppy up and all the male parts are there, I then turn him around and show owners. Both owners look shocked!)

Owner: “NO! IT’S A GIRL DOG BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WE PAID FOR!”

Me: “Ma’am, he has a penis and testicles.”

Owner: “NO! NO, IT’S A GIRL!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you look here there is—”

Owner: “The breeder said it’s just a ambilican hernia and I believe the breeder! Why would he lie?”

Me: “Umm, I don’t know, ma’am. It’s pronounced umbilical hernia, and no, he doesn’t have one. That is his prepuce which sheathes his penis.”

Owner: “What do you know? You’re not a vet! I want to talk to a vet!”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I walked out and informed my vet of the clients’ concerns. I went into the room with the vet and he told them the same thing. The owners actually continued to try to argue with my vet as to whether it was a boy!)

Has Slugs And Snails And Puppy Dog Tails

| AZ, USA | Pets & Animals

Customer: “I need someone to treat around my water meter.”

Me: “What kind of pests are you seeing?”

Customer: “I am not sure. They are either scorpions or rats. They have tails.”

Me: *aside to coworker* “Puppies have tails. Do you think there are puppies in his water box?”

You Can Snake Around But The Answer Will Be The Same

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I am a ranger at a state park, leading a group of tourists on a short hike and telling them about the park, then an activity that involves digging through swamp muck to find critters that live in the swamps. I have a ball running and participating in this program and find that most people from 3-70 have as well, though it is geared mostly towards younger kids. Among others, I have with me a family of French speaking guests: a mother, a 7- or 8-year-old boy, and two teenagers.)

Boy: *in broken English* “You will show me snake?”

Me: “If we see a snake I will point it out! I can definitely tell you what type it is and all about it! Keep on the lookout.”

Boy: “No, you show me snake.”

Me: “I… can’t just make one appear. But we do have a good number of snakes in our park! Hopefully we will see one today.”

Boy: *points* “Snake. You tell snake?”

Me: “Oh, did you find one already? Awesome! Show me where? I can tell you all about it!”

Mother: *expectantly* “No, he wants you to find him a snake out here, right now. We want to see a snake, now.”

Me: “I… can not just make one appear, I am sorry. They are wild animals that live in this park and come and go as they please.”

Mother: *scoffs, then talks to her family in French, who also all scoff* “This is not a good program for teenagers!”

Me: “Okay? It is geared towards younger kids mostly, though all ages find it enjoyable, I have found. I had an elderly couple having a ball with me yesterday! You might have more fun if you participate in searching?”

(They continued to talk to each other angrily in French and shoot dirty looks my way as I continued on with the rest of my program for the others. Next time I turned to them, they were gone. 10 minutes later we spotted not one, but three snakes!)

Needs To Bathe In Some Realistic Prices

| Dallas, TX, USA | Money, Pets & Animals

(I work at a doggy daycare that also happens to be a bar, so people come there to drink with their dogs whether they are going to daycare or not. A woman who’s never been there before is hosting a meet up.)

Woman: “My dog has been stinky lately… How much for a bath?”

Me: “A bath for a dog of that size would be $24.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t mean a bath bath… Can’t you just put a little soap and rinse him off?”

Me: “That would be a bath. And it’s $24.”

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