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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

| IN, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(Two summers ago I worked as an intern for the state fair. Part of my job was to register students for a pre-veterinary day camp in partnership with a state university. The campers talk to veterinarians & vet students, practice sutures, watch a surgery, etc. A mother calls to register her middle-school aged daughter. It goes normally until this point:)

Mother: “Will my daughter interact with any live animals? Like dogs or cats?”

Me: “Actually she won’t, although she’ll have the opportunity to watch a surgery through glass. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing!”

Mother: “Oh, no, I’m so glad! My daughter is very allergic to dogs and cats! She can’t stand to be around them!”

(The mother goes on to tell me what a great opportunity this & how much her daughter wants to be a veterinarian. I didn’t have the heart to point out this probably isn’t the career field for her…)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 7
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

Barking Orders

| Cape Town, South Africa | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I watch this scene unfold at the checkout. It’s extremely busy and there are long lines at all the checkouts. The customer in front of me is a middle-aged woman.)

Customer: “Please, please hurry! You’re so slow. I’ve left my dog in my car, and it’s so terribly hot.”

(It’s actually a cool, cloudy day. As the employee scans the large number of items in her trolley as fast as she possibly can, the customer keeps muttering about her dog and how slow she is.)

Customer: “Wait! Isn’t there a discount on this item? It’s showing [amount] on the display, but there’s supposed to be a special offer of [amount] off.”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, if you just look at the line below:” *indicating the display*

Customer: *ignoring her* “No, you’re wrong. I’ll prove it! Wait a minute.”

(She rushes off into the supermarket, leaving the whole line standing and waiting. She’s gone a long time, and everyone is showing signs of impatience. Eventually she comes back carrying the price tag and special offer notice that she’s ripped off the shelf.)

Customer: “You see! There’s supposed to be a discount of [amount].”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am. There’s the discount correctly shown on the line below the item.” *she shows her on the display*

(After much peering she reluctantly agrees.)

Customer: “Wait! Here’s my loyalty card. Oh, my poor dog! He’s waiting for me in that hot car.”

(She fishes around in her purse for some time before producing her loyalty card.)

Customer: *repacking a bag* “No, don’t put that in this bag.” *she fusses around, transferring items from one bag to another*

Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

(She spends some time looking slowly through her wallet before she produces a credit card.)

Customer: “And I’d like [amount] cash back, please.”

(The employee processes the transaction and hands her her cash back. With a look of relief, the employee turns to me, next in line.)

Customer: “Wait! You gave me all hundreds. Can you please give me two fifties instead of this hundred? I need some change.”

Employee: “I’ve already closed the drawer ma’am. You’ll have to wait until it opens for the next transaction.”

Customer: “You’re so slow and inefficient. Don’t you know that I have a dog waiting in my hot car?”

Customer Behind Me: *coming forward* “Here, I’ve got change for you.”

(He handed her two fifties for her hundred and she finally left, still muttering about the dog in the hot car. I quickly finished checking out, and walked out into the parking lot. I walked past the customer, busy putting her bags into her car. There was no dog in the car.)

The Cat’s Last Meow

| OH, USA | Pets & Animals

(Our small animal clinic opens an hour before the doctor comes in, during which time our grooming appointments, boarding appointments, etc. can come in, as well as customers looking for medication or food. We also receive a few calls. Because things are usually quiet, I am the only one answering phones.)

Caller: “Hi, um, I have a cat? It’s having some trouble.”

Me: “What seems to be going on?”

Caller: “Well, is there a reason a cat wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom?”

Me: “Is he having trouble urinating or defecating?”

Caller: “I’m not sure; he’s straining in the litter box.”

Me: “Well, potty problems can be caused by a lot of things in cats. If he’s not going poo, that could be constipation. If he’s not urinating, that could be something more serious, like a UTI or a urinary blockage, which would require immediate attention.”

Caller: “Can I bring him in right now?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have a doctor here right now. If you do feel this is an emergency, I would recommend Local Emergency Vet #1 or Local Emergency Vet #2. Would you like either of their numbers?”

Caller: “Well, he’s actually a pretty old cat, and I don’t want to spend that kind of money. Can I just bring him in and you look at him?”

Me: “I am not licensed to practice veterinary medicine, ma’am. I’m afraid only a vet can provide medical advice.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not going to have any time later today. Do you have any appointments tomorrow?”

Me: *wondering if she’s heard the part where I said this is definitely an emergency* “Yes?”

(We make the appointment, and she asks to make a grooming appointment for her cat immediately following his examination, which I reluctantly book.)

Me: “And again, if he continues showing signs of pain, do consider calling back or taking him to an emergency vet.”

(The cat did make it to the appointment the next day — by a thread. The vet ended up referring him to the emergency vet for surgical intervention, which they cheerfully accepted.)

Caller: “Nah, he’s old. If he can’t tough it out, he’s had a good life!”

Not How One Treats A Lady

, | Omaha, NE, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(My family volunteers for a dog rescue and foster association. Every few months they call us and we take in a dog until they find a new home. One of the ways they do this is by having little doggie parties at pet stores that support the group. One of our current fosters, Lady, is extremely skittish around adults. With kids and other dogs she is fine, but when an adult comes near her she tends to wet herself and try to run. She seems to have taken to me as I can sit next to her and hold her without her freaking out. It’s such a big step that we decide to risk taking her to one of the parties. I am allowed inside the dog cage to keep Lady calm and pick her up so some families can pet her. Everything is going great until a snooty couple comes in.)

Woman: “Ugh! What’s that smell?”

Cashier: “[Dog Rescue Group] is having an event where you can meet the dogs available for adoption. We have caged off the area where the dogs can roam so don’t worry about stepping in any accidents.”

(They grumble, but start perusing the store. One of the kids from another family comes up to me.)

Boy: “Excuse me, miss? Could I hold the black spotted one for a little bit? [Manager] said it was okay.”

Me: “Of course. Just set him back in when he starts getting restless.”

(I set Lady down so I can herd up the dog the boy wants to hold. I make sure he knows how to carry him comfortably when I notice the couple staring at the boards with all the dogs and their backstories.)

Woman: “Why are these all so tragic?”

Me: “Well, all of these dogs are up for adoption. They don’t have a permanent home yet either because their previous owners didn’t take care of them or are no longer able to. Our job is to get them new, happier homes.”

Man: “This guy’s picture looks pretty happy.”

Me: “His previous owners were in here earlier. They lost their house in a fire, and decided to give up their dog and get a new one when they became more financially stable. They were glad he still so happy. The kid over there is holding him. I’m sure he would share if you want to meet him.”

Woman: “He looks old.”

Me: “He is around ten, so he is getting up there. He is potty trained and is very docile and those are good things for people who haven’t had pets before.”

Man: “What makes you think we haven’t owned pets before?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I just haven’t seen you at any of these functions before and you didn’t seem to know how the adoption process worked. I was merely making a suggestion.”

Woman: “He likes sleeping on couches, too. Ugh! Why would anyone let a dog on furniture?”

Me: “Ma’am, he’s a dachshund. They are lap dogs. They like being around their owners and getting pet. Most dachshund owners let their dogs up on their beds and couches because that’s what they do.”

Woman: “What about this one? The Lady? She’s a dachshund and it says here she likes her cage best.”

Me: “Lady is a special case. Nothing personal, but Lady needs a family that would be willing to help finish her rehabilitation. She doesn’t take too well to people at all and is not potty trained. She’s wet herself a few times today already.”

Woman: “Let me hold her. I’m sure she’s fine. You’re just prejudiced because we asked a few questions.”

Me: “Ma’am, Lady does not like big people. She might bite you and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. Why not try one of the other dogs. They are all very sweet.”

(Another person comes up to ask to hold a dog and as I’m helping them, the man has leaned WAY over the cage and has caught Lady by her back leg. I whip around when I hear Lady barking and whimpering. He is dragging her back. Lady pees on the floor as she tries to run off and as a last resort is turning back to bite his hand. I intervene and get bitten instead and push the man away. I back up to keep Lady between the back of my legs and the other side of the cage.)

Man: “What the h***? I just wanted to see the dog.”

Me: “And I told you that she doesn’t like people. You scared her.”

Woman: “She tried to bite my husband!”

(The whole store is watching and the store manager and the head of the dog rescue society step in.)

Head: “That is enough. I watched this girl warn you about coming close to this dog. She and her family have spent weeks trying to get her to get out of her cage and play with their other dogs and you probably just erased all of that progress. She offered to show you better tempered dogs and instead you ignored her.”

Man: “That girl probably bruised my arm and that dog almost bit me.”

Head: “She was trying to keep the dog from biting you because, like a MORON, you dragged an unwilling creature with TEETH toward yourself in a very rough manner. It was self-defense.”

Man: “I want her fired.”

Head: “She’s a volunteer. She does so much work with us that I should start paying her. I’m not going to turn her away. I want both of your names. I don’t think I want either of you adopting any dog that comes into our care.”

Manager: *to me* “You all right there?”

Me: “Yeah. She didn’t break the skin, just some bruises. I think I’ll live. Lady could use a bath though. He dragged her through her pee.”

Manager: “I help you get her in the back room. We have a washing station.”

Boy: *from earlier* “I can watch the other dogs if you need me to.”

Me: “That would be awesome. Just stand in the middle of them and make sure no one tries to manhandle them too much. Pick up some poop if you’re brave enough.”

(Lady is shaking, but stays stock still as I wash her. She perks up when the manager pops in with some treats for her. I found out when I got back that the couple tried the same trick with a few other dogs and ended up getting removed from the store. The little boy who took my spot ended up being an awesome doggie guard. I resume my post and Lady starts sniffing the other dogs like nothing happened, much to my relief.)

Me: “Thanks, buddy, you’re a real lifesaver.”

Boy: “It was easy. My parents foster that brown one and I like to stay and visit the others. Is your dog okay?”

Me: “It looks like it. She’s becoming quite the trooper. She doesn’t quite know how to play and is too scared to get up on the couch with our other dogs yet.”

Boy: “She just needs a good home.”

Me: “Yep. We’re trying our best. At least she’s out of the cage and doesn’t run from her own shadow.”

(Lady still doesn’t know how to play, but LOVES to sit on the couch now. She lets anyone pet her when she’s up there and wags her tail when anyone calls her name. At the last doggie party I went to, I and my new favorite doggie guard had a good time tag teaming the cages.)

Totally Bugging Out

| USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(For the last few minutes, I’ve noticed people acting strangely towards me.)

Customer: “Hello-”

Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?” *smile*

Customer: *eyes bug out* “Um. Ah. Never mind.” *practically runs*

(I take out a small mirror to inspect my face, thinking I have some food for lunch left on it. Nothing. Bemused, I shrug and continue what I’m doing.)

Customer: “Hello, may I get a printout of my account?”

Me: “Of course, ma’am.”

(The customer eyes me weirdly, but I ignore the look. Then as I look down to type, I notice something MOVING on my shirt. It’s a beetle, as black as my shirt. I’m deathly afraid of bugs.)

Me: “Ahhh! Help! Help! Ahhh!”

(The customer and my coworkers stared as I frantically jumped around, swiping at the front of my shirt. The manager came out to see what I was screaming about, and I finally got it off. To this day since then, people call me the Bug-Brained Boy!)

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