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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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Trauma-Free Cleaning

| UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in an office that handles cleaning and we generally get snobby younger ladies as clients that just like to complain. I answer the phone:)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your lady traumatized my dog. I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. What did you say?”

Customer: “Your cleaning gal traumatized my dog and has made her suffer all day. I want my money back!”

Me: *at this point I’m concerned about the dog since it is a newer girl I don’t know* “I’m sorry, but I need to ask what she was doing to traumatize your dog. Did she hurt it? Should I make a report?”

Customer: “No. She dropped my precious baby-dog’s toy in the toilet after she cleaned it, and my poor baby was in the bathroom crying to get it back. She is traumatized!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, are you sure that the dog didn’t put it in the toilet itself while trying to get a drink?”

Customer: “She is a PRIZED POMERANIAN! She wouldn’t ever dream of drinking out of the toilet! Now, I demand my refund! I have to make her an appointment with the therapist!”

Me: “No, ma’am. I cannot issue a refund because your dog dropped its toy in the toilet. However if the cleaning was unacceptable, I can come out and—”

Customer: “No, the cleaning was fine. I demand my refund within 24 hours, and I will be calling the Better Business Bureau about your ‘business’!” *click*

(My boss laughed for a solid five minutes before she could even say anything.)

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Take A Shot At Being Nice

| NY, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I answer the phone at the animal hospital I work at.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Location] Animal Hospital. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer]; I’m calling to find out what shots my cat needs to be up to date.”

Me: “Of course, let me pull up your account and check that for you.”

(I enter the information, pulling up the cat’s record and read off the shots the cat is due for, and it goes smoothly until we get to the FVRCP vaccine, which is also called distemper. Despite what the name may sound like, it is a vaccine for feline panleukopenia virus, an infection (there is also a canine version).)

Customer: “So the distemper shot… that will make my cat nicer?”

Me: “Ah, no, ma’am. The vaccine doesn’t affect behavior or temperament. It’s to prevent a type of virus.”

(Sadly we get asked that A LOT.)

A Mite-y Big Problem

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work in an animal hospital as a receptionist, and answer a phone call.)

Me: “[Veterinary Hospital]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I came there a few years ago with my cat. I also have pet rats and I think I got mites from them. I have lots of bites on me and my skin is very itchy. My dermatologist told me to bring a sample of the bugs to a vet to have them looked at under a high powered microscope.”

(I really wish I could say no humans ever came to us or called us wanting to be treated, and that this man was the first, but I sadly cannot.)

Me: “Oh, umm… well, sir, firstly, we do not treat humans—”

Customer: “I know! I don’t want you to TREAT me. I just want you to look at the mites under a high powered microscope and tell me what kind they are so my dermatologist can treat me!”

Me: “I understand sir, but the veterinarian won’t—”

Customer: “Yes, I know. I just need you to look at them under—”

Me: “I know, sir. But the vet doesn’t treat or research for humans in any way.”

Customer: “But I got them from my pet rats.”

Me: “I understand. But regardless of where you believe they came from, the vet will not look at them. Animal mites do not remain on humans. And your dermatologist would not send you to a vet, because he or she knows vets do not see humans, and he or she should have the means to look at your mites or send them out to be looked at.”

(This goes on for several minutes, and to get him to hang up, I say I’ll give his name and number to the vet, but tell him not to expect a call because she doesn’t work with people. Fast forward to six hours later, when we’re half an hour past closing time, but cannot lock the doors yet because the last appointment is still in the building. A greasy looking man walks in, clothes dirty and disheveled, and he smells faintly of alcohol.)

Customer: “I called earlier to have the doctor look at my mites with a high powered microscope.”

Me: “Yes sir, you spoke to me. I told you not to come in, and that we won’t look at the mites. And we closed half an hour ago so there’s nothing else I can do for you right now.”

Customer: “Is there a school around here where I can use a high powered microscope? Or can you look at the mites for me?”

Me: “No, sir. I don’t know any schools that will allow that, and nor will I look at the mites. I have to ask you to leave, and contact a human doctor.”

(It took a while, but he FINALLY left, still muttering about his pet rats, mites and high powered microscopes.)