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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

Narwailing On About It

| Portland, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at a bookstore that mostly sells children’s books. A mother comes in with her daughter who is about six years old.)

Mother: “I’d like to make a complaint. Who is the manager?”

Me: “I am the manager. What is the problem?”

Mother: “I found this book in the nonfiction section.”

(She holds up a book about arctic animals. The cover shows a polar bear and a narwhal.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is a nonfiction book. It contains facts about those animals.”

Mother: “No, it does not. There’s no such thing as a narwhal! They are imaginary creatures.”

Me: “…”

Your Dog Does Not Compute

| USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Popular

(A woman comes in with a Chihuahua that has been banned from the store because it’s frankly an aggressive little bugger and bites everything it can, including, on the last visit, a small child of about three years old.)

Customer: “I’d like a standard bath and grooming.”

Me: “I cannot do that, as your dog is banned from our store.”

Customer: *sets him on the counter, snarling and yapping, and leans in close to ask* “Could you just take him out back and hose him off? Nobody will have to know if you don’t enter it into the computer.” *slips me $50*

(By now the dog is attached to my sleeve, growling and tugging. I agree to take him out back. I go out the back door, put the snarling little maniac back in his crate in her car along with my ripped uniform and her 50 bucks, which he proceeds to chew up also. I walk back up to the counter in just the t-shirt I am wearing under my destroyed uniform.)

Customer: “Where’s my dog?”

Me: “What dog? I don’t have any dogs entered into my computer.”

(She never brought the little psycho back.)

Barking Mad Behavior

| Port Saint Lucie, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I work for a popular green market. A customer approaches with a dog in her cart.)

Me: “Aw, what a sweet dog!”

Customer #1: “Want to hold him? You don’t need to keep ringing me up!”

Me: “N- no, that’s okay. He looks very sweet, though. I have a dog—”

Customer #1: “Go say hi!”

(The dog suddenly leaps out of the cart and onto the moving conveyor belt! The other customers in line start panicking, while I hurry to catch the man’s dog that is now running up and down the belt, and across my scanner. When my manager finally gets the man and his dog out, the other customers and I stand in awed silence. Until…)

Customer #2: “That just happened.”

Me: “Ah, yeah. Yeah, it did.”

(We both stare at the paw prints all over the scanner and belt.)

Customer #2: “I can wait until that gets cleaned…”