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Category: Pets & Animals

Would dogs be mans best friend if they realized they are sometimes more intelligent than their owners? Sadly in the world stupid people are allowed to own pets, find out how it can all go horrible wrong from here. Even wild animals cannot escape!

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Reindeer Sneer

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Pets & Animals

(It is Christmas Eve, and I am wearing a headband with reindeer antlers.)

Customer: “What is that on your head?!”

Me: *quite startled* “Um… Reindeer antlers?”

Customer: *scowling* “NO.” *walks away*

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The Ugly Untruth

| USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am an educator at a fairly large zoo. On my break I occasionally zip a jacket up over my uniform shirt and walk around to see some of my favorite animals. It’s not required that I not wear my shirt while on break, but I like just enjoying the animals without being asked 200 times where this/that/the other is. I’m hanging out with our elephants when I overhear a father talking to his kids. He is very loud and very close to me, so I can hear very clearly what is being said.)

Father: “You see, kids, zoos only take animals that are perfect. And if an animal is too ugly or looks like it’s not out of a picture book, they kill it.”

(I have to blink a few times… I did NOT just hear that. Just as this happens one of our male elephants walks by. He happens to have very little hair on his tail so it looks bald and short.)

Father: “See! I’m surprised they kept that one alive, since he has that tail.”

(I almost have to sit down. At this point I unzip my jacket, pull out my ID, and approach him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry, but I work here and happened to overhear your conversation. I can PROMISE you that we would never, EVER kill any of our animals simply because they are ‘ugly’ or have physical abnormalities. In fact, most of the animals in our North American area are orphans, blind, crippled, or otherwise unable to survive in the wild. We actually take in a lot of animals who need help and rehabilitate them. I know many of our keepers and these animals are pretty much their children. They love them profoundly and would never, in a million years, allow one to be killed simply because they aren’t picture book perfect.”

Father: “Oh! Well, that’s so good to know! Thank you!”

(I just… I can’t. Where did that idea even COME from?!)

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I’m Not A Cat (Remembering) Person

| CA, USA | Pets & Animals

(I’m meeting a new client to sit for her three dogs while she is on vacation, the only pets she had informed me about via email. Right on cue after she finishes introducing the third dog, a cat runs up the stairs, meows, and throws himself down at my feet for attention.)

Client: “Oh, right! I have a cat, too…”

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The Biggest Pest Isn’t The Wasp

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I use to work as an admin for a pest company. The techs make their own schedules with monthly visits to customers and fit in people that have called for re-treatments. Usually when people call in asking for an extra service I can get them to wait a day or two to help the techs.)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a wasp in my screen porch!”

Me: “Oh, dear! Well, to help your tech, do you know where the nest might be in your porch?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. Have you seen them flying in a certain direction?”

Customer: “No. It’s just one that got inside. Can you just send the tech now to kill it!”

Me: “Wait, you want me to have the tech go off route now to kill one wasp?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Have you seen a lot of activity outside?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Let me see what I can do.”

(I put her on hold and tap my fingers for a few moments and have a snack. It’s our busy season and that route is our largest and busiest with only one tech near it. I wasn’t about to call him for one wasp.)

Me: “Thanks for holding. I called the tech and he won’t be able to fit you in today. I could put in a request for tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! I pay you guys good money to take care of pests! What am I supposed to do about this wasp?”

Me: “Hit it with a rolled up magazine.”

Customer: “What?! How dare you! I want my tech to call me!”

Me: “I can do that. Have a nice day.”

(I send a message for the tech to call her. Two hours later he ran in for supplies.)

Tech: “What the h*** was that all about?! She wanted me to go kill one wasp!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I told her to hit it with a magazine.”

Tech: “So did I! I’m not going 20 minutes off route to spray one wasp! I’m lucky I found the time to pick up more chemicals!”

(Seriously, yeah, you are paying us, but so are tons of other people. Grow up and slap it with a newspaper. Sadly, that was not the first or last call I got like that. One involved a dead hamster under the stove. Another was a frog… in their yard.)

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It Hasn’t Gone Belly-Up

Rolesville, NC, USA | Pets & Animals

(My seven-month-old puppy eats a hook off of a suction cup, We need to have abdominal surgery done to fish it out before it pokes a hole in her insides. The surgery goes well, but a couple weeks afterward, I notice a large black spot at one end of the incision. I call the vet in a panic, even though my dog is quite cheerfully bouncing around. They tell me to bring her on in. After the vet looks at the spot, we have our verdict.)

Vet: “That’s her belly button, Mr. [My Name]. No charge. Glad she’s doing well.”

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