They Should Have Cashed Out A Long Time Ago

(I work at a convenience store. I’m working the customer service desk, which handles lottery, as well as returns, utility payments, and so on. We’re cash or check only, with many services taking only cash. In a bizarre twist of fate, at one point, a stolen SUV rams one of the front glass walls in an attempt to steal the ATM machine, which is bolted down. They succeed only in destroying the vehicle. As a result, the ATM machine and the scratch-off lottery machine are moved to the back of the store, by the customer service desk. One of my least favorite customers is at my counter. He’s extremely condescending, knows full well what our policies are, and demands to get around them on a regular basis.)

Customer: *leaning on my counter with a credit card in hand* “Since you all don’t have an ATM anymore, I’m paying with my bank card.”

Me: *blinks and points behind him* “The ATM is right there.”

Customer: *looks* “Well, I’m still paying with my bank card.”

Me: “It’s cash only. We don’t accept cards back here.”

Customer: *looking at me like I’m stupid* “Why not?“

Me: “We don’t have a credit card machine.”

Customer: *points to our [remittance company] terminal* “WHAT’S THAT?”

Me: “Really? That’s our [remittance company] machine. It’s not going to read your credit card.”

Customer: *makes a face and throws down several filled lottery sheets* “Make those tickets, and tell me how much they are, so I know if I have enough money.”

(He disappears and I’m hesitant to put them through, as two of the big national lotteries have a no-cancel policy. If we print one of those tickets, and the customer doesn’t want it, we’re on the hook to pay for them. He has several.)

Customer: *comes back* “Put those through. What are you doing?!”

Me: “I was waiting for you. Some of these can’t be canceled, and I don’t like making tickets when the customer isn’t around.”

Customer: “Just go; it should be $67.00.” *goes to the ATM*

(I put the tickets through, and sure enough, $67.00. I’m more than a little shocked as I realize this is probably a weekly thing for him, as he is definitely not one of our richer regulars.)

Me: “Okay, that’s $67.00.”

Customer: *throws his money at me* “If I don’t come back next week, you’ll know why!”

(He came back next week. Out of the sixty-seven he spent, he won a whopping five dollars. Then, he proceeded to buy another $67.00 of lottery.)