The Case Of The Two-Dollar Punch
(My partner and I are getting out of bed to start the day. I’ve been a sleep-walker/talker since childhood, though it’s rarer now that I’m older.)
Partner: “Do you remember waking me up last night?”
Me: “What? Well, I guess. I needed a drink around four. Sorry I woke you.”
Partner: “No, earlier than that. You punched me in the back.”
Me: “What?!”
Partner: “Yeah, you hit me, and when I rolled over to ask why, you looked me right in the face and said—” *drops his voice to a creepy whisper* “—’twoooooo dollar.'”
Me: “…”
Partner: “Then you rolled over and went back to sleep.”
Me: “No. No, I do not remember that.”
Partner: “I’m going to get a security camera or something set up in here one of these days, just to record the creepy s*** your unconscious a** says.”