A Case Of System-atic Failure

(I’m more than halfway through a seven-hour shift, running on five hours of sleep, after a 17-hour day between school and work the previous day. I am supposed to have a cashier to run register, but the cashier hasn’t shown up for any of his shifts this week and we haven’t gotten a hold of him at all, so I am running the front end of the store myself for the entire time. This is right before a snowstorm, so we are unusually busy for a weekend morning. By the time this customer comes up, I am tired, frazzled from trying to help so many different customers at once, almost out of patience, and have more than fulfilled my daily requirement of idiocy. A lady walks up to my register and places a bag of [Store] brand candy and a package of [Popular Brand] Easter marshmallows.)

Customer: “Both of these items are on sale, two for three dollars. They should ring up that price. Make sure they ring up that price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe they will ring up like that; these are two different brands, so they are two different sales. They don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t care if they are two different brands! They should ring up two-for-three!”

Me: “Let me ring them up and see how they ring up, but I’m just letting you know that is not typically how the sales work.”

(I ring up the items and run the customer’s store card.)

Me: “It looks like they both ran up at $1.59 each, so it’s close to the two-for-three deal.”

Customer: *slams hands on counter* “They should be two-for-three! What kind of store doesn’t honor their sales?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do honor our sales; however, the sale tags do say that the single purchase price is more than if you buy two and—”

Customer: “I have two!”

Me: “Yes, but they are two different brands. I know it can be confusing, and we get this sometimes with makeup. Like if [Makeup Brand #1] and [Makeup Brand #2] are both on sale, buy one get one half off, and you bought an eyeshadow from both, would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: *nods emphatically* “Yes!”

Me: “Okay. What if there is that same sale on hair dye and [brand] macaroni and cheese? Would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: “Of course!”

(By this time there are about five people behind her that are starting to get impatient. After a couple more tries of explaining it to her…)

Me: “That, unfortunately, is not how the system works. Would you still like both of the products?”

Customer: *throws card at me* “Yes, fine, whatever. And don’t tell me how the system works! I’ve been in the system for fifty years! I know how the system works.”

Me: “Wow, you must have been a loyal customer from the start! The company has only recently celebrated our 50th anniversary! We appreciate your loyalty!” *slight sarcasm*

(She finally grabbed her bags and left, and I was able to greet the next customer. But not before hitting my head against the wall first.)