Carry Yourself Out

(My husband and I decide to call and order pizza for dinner, from a franchise a few blocks away. I’m sitting next to him when he makes the call, so I can hear both sides of the conversation.)

Husband: “Hello? I’d like to place an order for carry-out, please.”

Employee: “For… what?”

Husband: “Carry-out. I want to order pizza for carry-out?”

Employee: “Uh… Is that pick-up or delivery?”

(My husband doesn’t handle dumb questions well, and I can tell he’s determined to get his point through to this employee, maybe in an attempt to educate them.)

Husband: “You don’t know what carry-out means? It means I want to order a pizza, and you make it, and then I go over there and CARRY IT OUT of the store myself. Hence the term ‘carry-out.’ It’s self explanatory.”

Employee: “So… pick-up, then?”

(We both roll our eyes.)

Husband: *silently mouthing to me* “Oh, my god.” *to the employee* “YES.”

(Unsurprisingly, the rest of the order went in a similar fashion, with my husband asking for items off their menu and the employee on the phone having no idea what he was talking about. For example, when he asked for a pepperoni pizza with “double the pepperoni,” the employee was completely lost. Finally he completes his order and hangs up.)

Me: “You can’t expect everyone to have common sense, [Husband].”