Carry-On-And-Off-And-On

(I am flying back to college from my hometown. The security line at the airport is extremely long, spanning all the way across the airport terminal. After waiting for a very long time, I am at about the half-way point in the line.)

Airport Employee: “You! Your carry-on bag is too big!”

Me: “I know it looks like that, but I measured; it just meets the requirements.”

Airport Employee: “No, it’s too big. Go and measure it at the display.”

Me: *goes out of line and slips my bag into the display* “See, it fits fine.”

Airport Employee: “Fine, now go to the back of the line.”

Me: “But I’ve been waiting for so long! I just stepped out because you told me to!”

Airport Employee: “Doesn’t matter; go to the back of the line!”

(I go to the back of the line and finally get to the same point in the line where Airport Employee is harassing the other people in line about carry-on sizes.)

Airport Employee: “You! Your bag is too big! Get out of line and check it!”

Me: “No. We’ve already been through this. My bag is fine.”

Airport Employee: “No! It’s too big!”

(The employee continues to say stuff like this to me while I ignore her. She eventually moves on to other passengers. I finally get to the part where they check your ID and ticket before you go into the scanner area.)

Me: *hands ID and ticket to TSA Agent*

Agent: *looks at ID* “This isn’t you.”

Me: “Umm, yes it is. I have my hair pulled back and glasses on, but the face is the same.”

Agent: “This isn’t you.”

Me: “Why would I have a fake ID that says I am 19?”

Agent: *marks my ticket* “This ID is still fake.”

Me: *grabs ID and walks quickly to the scanner line hoping the agent won’t stop me and send me to the back of the line again*