Carl And The Magic Beans

I’ve been in my office job for a few months now. I’ve met most people, but I’m still getting to know a few. One guy is known as Caffeine Carl (name changed, but still begins with a ‘C’). I have never officially spoken to him, but today I need to check in on him for something.

Me: “Hey, Carl, you need to sign off on this and the deadline is today, so…”

Without looking away from his task, in fact, without moving at all save for his hands, he takes the document from my hands, signs exactly where he needs to (without looking) and wordlessly hands it back.

Me: “…thanks?”

He remains hyper-focused on his task, and I return the document to the manager.

Manager: “Get everyone’s sign off?”

Me: “Yeah… including Carl. Is he okay?”

Manager: “Caffeine Carl? Oh yeah, he’s fine.”

Me: “He seems, a bit…”

Manager: “He has more coffee in a day than I do in a week. Is it healthy? Nah. Has his left eye not blinked since April? Likely. Does he have the best productivity out of everyone in the entire office? Absolutely.”

Me: “Well… okay then? Does he ever talk?”

Manager: “Only if he really doesn’t like you.”

Phew!