Carbs Cure All

(I call my mom in Virginia because I am sick and that is what moms are for. It’s just a cold, but it’s a miserable one with fever and inflamed sinuses and so much fluid from every hole in my face that I’m a giant, drippy, sore-throat mess.)

Mom: “You should gargle some hot salt water, or I like to get a little cup with equal parts vinegar and honey and drink that. If you can drink it straight, it’s better for your throat than diluting it with water.”

Dad: “Or you could just eat a bag of salt and vinegar chips.”

Me: *thoughtful pause* “I’m going to go get a bag of salt and vinegar chips. For medicinal use.”

(I could practically hear my mom’s eyes rolling through the phone.)