Can’t Take Back Soiled Goods

A customer comes in with a laptop.

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this laptop, please. None of the ports work. I can’t charge it, or plug USBs in or anything.”

Me: “Oh, that’s a shame. I’m sorry, let me get it booked in for a warranty test.”

I fill in all the boring paperwork and take it to the testing area behind the tills, and I take a closer look, and it takes me a moment to process what it is I’m seeing.

Every single port is jam-packed full of soil.

The charger port, the USB ports, the fan vents, every single hole on this man’s laptop, is stuffed full of soil. 

I go back to him, and say:

Me: “I’m sorry sir. I can’t offer you a warranty on this. The ports aren’t working because they are all full of soil, and I’m afraid that voids the warranty.”

He looks me dead in the eyes, and says:

Customer: “Of course it’s full of soil, IT’S BEEN IN MY BAG!”

He takes off his backpack, opens it, and shows me it is full of loose soil and a single purple flower.

He takes back the laptop and storms off.

Did I just meet human Wall-E?