Can’t Stop Pooping Out Excuses

(My seven-year-old son has a school event today that parents are invited to come see.)

Son: “So, can you come?”

Me: “I’m sorry, hon. I can’t. I have to go to work, same as every day.”

Son: “Call your boss and tell him you’re sick! Tell him you can’t stop pooping!”

Me: *with horrified laughter* “No, no, I don’t think I should tell him that! Now, go get ready for school!”