Can’t Provide A Weighted Response

| Syracuse, NY, USA | Friendly | May 30, 2017

(I’ve always struggled with my weight. I am in an elevator of a medical building headed to an appointment when a heavyset lady gets on at the next floor. We’re riding up in silence when all of a sudden she says to me:)

Woman: “Are you pregnant? Or just fat like me?”

(I immediately turned red and mumbled that I was fat, but I was so embarrassed and was grateful to get to my floor!)

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  • DragonEmpress

    …how is that in any way polite????

  • Linda Spitsyna

    Why do you feel the need to answer? What is wrong with you, people? Even if you are pregnant, Why is that anyone else’s business?
    I have 2 responses I use for such question:
    1) I don’t speak English
    2) I am swelling from starvation.
    First one is universal btw, I use it for everything (spam phone calls, unsolicited attention, rush jobs requests) 🙂

    • Laura Durst

      I am the OP. I was young. I don’t remember exactly how old, but I’d always been made fun of for my weight so it was a sensitive subject. Now I’m more confident and probably would have said “seriously?” Or something along those lines. But I remember my face being redder than a friggen tomato!

      • Elizabeth Whitman

        I’m also from Syracuse and I totally believed this could happen.

        • Laura Durst

          It happened in North Med of all places!

      • Amanda Hart

        Sometimes fellow big girls are the rudest ones! They think “Oh it’s ok, I’m fat too and comfortable referring to myself as such, so you can’t possibly think I’m rude!” WRONG.

    • Please tell me that when you use the first one, you look them dead in the eye and say “I don’t speak English” in perfect English.

  • Flami

    Why would you answer such a rude question from someone you’ll never see again?

    • Laura Durst

      I am the OP. I only responded because I was embarrassed and not really sure what to do in the situation. As I am now more confident, I probably would have said are you serious or something.

      • Flami

        Then that is totally understandable! 🙂

      • DB

        You may probably want to remember this paraphrased gem from Churchill and tailor to your situation.

        Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”

        WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”

        Or

        “Ma’am, I may be large, but you’re a bitch. I can diet, but you will always be a bitch.”

  • Kathy Plester

    This is terrible – why the hell is any question like that any of her business? Did she think it was okay because she was overweight too, because that still doesn’t make it her business nor does it make it okay. A person’s body is their own business and you in no way have any right to know anything about it.

  • justinagirle

    I would have just stared at her unanswering. I’ve done that before to people that ask improper questions and they (usually) get the hint rather quickly.

  • Michael David

    That’s when you say, “I am pregnant. It’s a food baby.” They’ll either laugh or look at you like you’re insane and leave you alone. Either way, it’s a win-win.

  • Laren Dowling

    Do not EVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless there is a baby emerging form her at that moment!

    • And in that case, the question is kinda moot.

      • Laren Dowling

        That’s rather the point.

    • DB

      And if the woman’s answer is “no” when that happens, you should probably run away from the parasite carrier and lock yourself in a cupboard.

      • Trihan

        And if her answer was yes, your comment came from Negative Nancy. 😛

    • Medusa Jordan

      I was asked this question when I was holding my 3 week baby in my arms – obviously my belly was still going down, as opposed to going up again. I just said ‘give me a chance, I have only just had this one’/

    • Pisces

      Or her doctor or nurse. They NEED to know

  • Kitty

    “Are you stupid? Or just a complete moron?”

  • Jackie Fauxe

    I’ve noticed that people like that are often the same ones who encourage others to indulge in the vices that they themselves struggle with: “Don’t be such a worrywart, go fill your plate up again.”, “One more drink with the boys won’t kill you.”, “You don’t need to quit, you just need to embrace who you are.”, etc.

    I hate that mentality. If you’re comfortable where you’re at, that’s fine, but don’t try to give yourself company by sabotaging the efforts of those who want positive change (or, even worse, try to drag people down with you).

    To be clear, I’ve known people who do only one of those things or the other, but there does seem to be a lot of overlap between the two. Also, I realize obesity is a much more complicated than being a simple “vice”, but I’m including it because the type of person I’m talking about will try to sabotage weight loss (and gain?) like they would someone quitting drinking, trying to get their life together, etc.

    • Flami

      I’ve heard that described on Reddit as the “crabs in a bucket” mentality.

    • Medusa Jordan

      I expect their attitude is a lot to do with convincing themselves that they are happy with it, and that it isn’t really harmful.

  • Lord Circe

    Hopefully she was there to get her brain-to-mouth filter replaced, her current one is obviously faulty.

  • Jeff
  • Shauna

    The only time I could justify this was if I had a helpful group/site whatever to share and some encouraging words to go with it.

  • hoppytoad79

    That’s tactless, rude, and none of her damn business. My answer: “Yes”. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

  • Abigail Hermione Irwin

    “Hey, lady, I can always lose weight. But you will ALWAYS be stupid.”

    That is totally outrageous and unacceptable.