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Can’t Preserve A Conversation That’s Already Dead

| Friendly | June 10, 2015

(I have just graduated from high school, and my plans are to become a mortician; however, some members of my family don’t like to admit this, and if asked they usually lie. Note: in this story the conversation is somewhat vague. A random lady I do not know comes up to me.)

Random Lady: “You’re [My Name], aren’t you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Random Lady: “I was talking to [Relative] and I heard about your career plans. Sounds interesting.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

Random Lady: “So tell me, what brings you to this profession?”

Me: *trying to not get into fully fledged details with a stranger at a wedding* “Well, I feel I can be of service to people. Plus, it is not a profession everyone wants to get into, and frankly I am not afraid of it.”

Random Lady: “What’s to be afraid of? Every woman has one.”

Me: *suddenly realizing she and I are not discussing the same profession* “Ma’am, if I may ask, what do you think I plan to do?”

Random Lady: “Well, exactly what [Relative] said. You’re going to be a gynecologist aren’t you?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you’ve been given incorrect information. I am becoming a mortician, not a gynecologist.”

Random Lady: “Ewww, god, why the h***?!” *runs off*

(That’s why it’s important to tell the truth and be specific, people.)