Can’t Pin It On Him

(We are two men in our early twenties. For the past few days, my boyfriend has been really sweet to me and denying that he is being anything but his usual self. One afternoon we’re lying in bed. I’m doing homework and he’s messing around on my phone because I’m using his to use a website my phone can’t access. He’s being secretive and has made sure to delete his history on his phone.)

Boyfriend: “Can I get on my Pinterest from your phone?”

Me: “Just use mine and send yourself stuff.”

Boyfriend: “Fine.”

(Thirty minutes go by and I’m taking a break.)

Me: “What are you looking for?”

Boyfriend: “Nothing! Christmas presents! Do your homework!”

(Thirty minutes later…)

Me: “Why can’t I see what you’re looking at? Are you looking at p*rn without me?!”

Boyfriend: “No! Now do your homework! You need good grades!”

Me: “But I’m done!”

Boyfriend: “Don’t lie to me. Just do it. How much have you done?”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: “That’s what I thought. Now, do it.”

(He puts my phone down eventually and curls up half in my lap to take a nap. I steal my phone back, but he has deleted the searching history.)

Me: “Why can’t I know? You said no Christmas presents!”

Boyfriend: *grins smugly at me* “Are you done with your homework? Hurry up so we can have sex.”

(I finally finish, but he has fallen asleep. I go into my Pinterest to look for gifts for a friend’s wedding and other Christmas ideas. I send my boyfriend a pin, and then go check to see that it really sent. Through my account, he had been sending himself pins about wedding rings. I look through them, and then put it away, not saying anything. Eventually we get up to feed the dogs and ourselves.)

Me: “So, uh, you’re pretty secretive, all right. Really good at it.”

Boyfriend: “Uh huh.”

Me: “Did you forget that Pinterest’s sending thing is a messaging system now?”

Boyfriend: “What? Nuh uh!”

Me: “Do you want me to forget I saw it?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, actually.”

(Now he taunts me with asking me what rings I like and says I have to behave or he’ll keep pushing back asking me to marry him.)