Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number

(I work overnight at a prepaid phone call center. A customer calls in every night to change his pin, because he is paranoid. He is always abusive. His constant pin changes finally catch up with him.)

Me: “Thank you for calling; my name is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to change the PIN on my account.”

Me: “Absolutely, we just need your current PIN, please.”

Customer: *gives wrong PIN*

Me: “I’m sorry; that’s incorrect. I’ll need the PIN to access the account.”

Customer: “Listen, I need to change my PIN because I don’t know it. I don’t remember what I used last. I want it to be 123456. Please change it now.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we can’t change the PIN without verifying that this is your account. It would defeat the purpose.”

Customer: “I’m going to find out where you are and I’m gonna come down there and cut your head off. Then I’m gonna burn the building down and kill all of your friends, and then you’re gonna go home and cry into your pillow because you’re so lonely. What do you think about that?”

Me: “Well, I think if you cut my head off, I won’t get much crying done. I’m sorry that you don’t know your PIN. Unfortunately, I am done trying to help you. I’ve marked your account abusive, and you’ll need to hold for a supervisor.”

(The customer hangs up. His account is forever marked as immediate transfer to a supervisor, and he switches carriers. Those poor people.)