They Can’t Keep Pace With The World

(I answer phones to take sales and have a greeting I use every time I answer without ever having any issues, until I answer this creepy call:)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I h—”

Customer: “Wow, that was too fast. You need to speak slower. All I heard was [unintelligible gibberish sounds]. Say your name, the one your lovely mother gave you when you were just a little baby being born, and say it slowly rather than just throwing it out of your mouth like you’re ashamed of it. Be proud of your name. My name is [Customer], and I’m here in lovely little downtown [City] in Utah, and it’s soooo lovely out here. Now, what is your name? And say it slowly this time, not just letting it fall off your tongue. Now, try that all again, child.”