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Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 14

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2021

My friend and I (both female) are stuck in a cubicle farm on overnights, doing tier-two tech support for a cable company. As we are a small team with a useless supervisor, we tend to help each other when needed, so my ears perk up when I hear my friend struggling to finish a single sentence, getting cut off by the customer. She finally finishes the call.

Me: “What was that about?”

Friend: “Apparently, I can’t do tech support because I have boobs!”

Me: “Really? Well, good luck to him tonight!”

We laugh and go back to the queue. About twenty minutes later, guess who pings through my phone? I start my opening spiel.

Customer: “Oh, for f***’s sake. Are you the same b**** I talked to twenty minutes ago?”

Me: “No, sir, I don’t believe I’ve had that pleasure this evening.”

My friend is now listening closely.

Customer: “Well, I’ll tell you the same thing I told her. Get me a g**d*** man on the line to fix this piece of s*** now!

Me: “I’m sorry, sir—”

Customer: “You’re not sorry!”

He starts an expletive-laden rant but I hang up.

Friend: “Same guy? Did you tell him we’re the only two on tonight?”

Me: “I didn’t get a chance to get a word in edgewise.”

Friend: “Let’s not, then!”

She drew up a sheet entitled “D**khead” and made two columns with our names, putting a stroke in each column. All night, we passed that sheet back and forth, each taking his calls as a break to read until he’d hang up again. We did try to help but he wouldn’t give us any information besides his name. In the end, she won, sixteen calls to my twelve. I bought her a coffee on the way home.

On my next shift, I checked his account out of curiosity. The notes from a male tech read, “Customer unable to connect. Power-cycled modem. Connection restored.” Over six hours of calling non-stop for a thirty-second fix.

Related:
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 13
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 12
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 11
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 10
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 9

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