Can’t Grease Their Way Into It

(It is the end of a semester and we are buying back used books. We can’t buy books that are water damaged because you can’t read them.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t buy this book back. It has water damage.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

Me: “See here where the pages are stuck together and wrinkled.”

Customer: “It’s not water damage. It’s taco grease.”

Me: “It has damaged the book and we can’t buy it back.”

Customer: “But it’s taco grease, not water damage! Now give me my money!”

Me: “The grease makes the book unreadable for the next person, so we can’t buy it back.”

Customer: “But it’s just taco grease. You said water damage and it’s not water. Can’t you just buy it back?”

(This exchange goes back and forth until the customer gets very upset that I will not give them money for the book.)

Customer: “Fine! I don’t need your money! How about this for damage?!”

(The customer then proceeds to throw the book at my head and runs off muttering about it not being water damage.)