Can’t Filter Out The Stupid

| Working | November 9, 2015

(I stop in to an auto store to pick up some motor oil, and notice that the high mileage brand I usually buy is on sale: “five quarts plus oil filter, $24.99.” That is a very good price even for the oil alone, so I grab five of them. I get to the register and put the five bottles of oil on the counter.)

Me: “Can I just buy these five quarts of oil and get the special price?”

Cashier: “No, you need to get a filter with it.”

Me: “Well, how much are these without the filter?”

Cashier: *scanning the oil* “$37.”

Me: “Can’t we just pretend I bought a filter? I really don’t need the filter.”

Cashier: “No, I have to ring up the filter.”

Me: “Well, okay, just put a filter on the check, and I’ll leave with just the oil, and then you can sell the filter to someone else. I don’t want the filter.”

Cashier: “Okay. What make of car?”

Me: “Please, I don’t want to go through the whole interview. Just pick a random filter off the shelf. I DON’T NEED THE FILTER.”

(The cashier went to the oil aisle, returned with an oil filter, rang up the filter and the same five bottles of oil again, which now cost twelve dollars less. I tried to leave the “random oil filter” behind on the counter when I departed, really not wanting it to go to waste, but the cashier insisted I had to take it with me!)

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