Can’t Erase That Outburst

(I’m in class, and a small projectile hits my arm, falling onto the edge of my chair.)

Me: “Excuse me, [Teacher]? Someone just threw a spitball at—”

Thrower: *shouting* “NO! It wasn’t a spitball! It’s a piece of eraser! GOD! Can’t you tell the difference?”

(The class looked on in amazement as the self-outed thrower continued to rant about how ‘erasers are totally different!’)