Can’t Dress It Up As Anything Other Than A Bridezilla

(This is two weeks after a popular bridal chain has closed its doors, sending brides into a panic. I myself am a bride-to-be, and have been lucky enough to have gotten my gown before the chain closed. I am at the seamstress’s shop for my final fitting and pick-up. Just after my mother has taken the obligatory “bride with her gown bag” photo in front of the shop, another car pulls up and a woman comes running over.)

Woman: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Your dress is a [Brand Name]!” *she points to the logo on the bag*

Me: “Yes, it is. I suppose I was lucky it came before they closed.”

(I start to put the dress in my car.)

Woman: “Wait!”

(I stop, thinking she may want to peek at it.)

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Let me have your dress!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “Let me have your dress. I’m getting married in a couple of weeks and I want a [Brand Name]!”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “What do you mean ‘no’?”

Me: “I mean no, I won’t give this to you.” (I hang up the dress and shut the door, which automatically locks my car.)

Woman: “You don’t need it; you already got married! You just had it cleaned!”

Me: “No, I’m not married yet. I am picking up my gown after alterations to store it until my wedding in two months. Have you looked online to see if someone is selling what you want?”

(She ignores me.)

Woman: “I’ll borrow it!”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “You HAVE to let me borrow it!”

Me: “No, I don’t. My property is my property.”

Woman: “You’re a greedy b****!”

Me: “To you, maybe. I’m not lending out my dress before my wedding. There’s too much risk that it will be ruined or not come back, which would leave me stuck. After the wedding, I may, if it’s someone I know who is local. I’m not sure yet. I’d love to keep it for any daughter I may have who wants to wear it. Have you tried looking online?”

Woman: “Then I’ll just take it!”

(The woman walks over to my car and starts pulling on the handle, and falls when it doesn’t open and the force causes her to lose balance.)

Woman: “Open this door. I want that dress.”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “Open it.”

Me: “No. Lady, get away from my car. If you want one so badly, look online in buy/trade/borrow groups. There are so many brides willing to help those who lost their dresses in the closure. I also don’t think you’ve taken one look at me, because I’m a solid foot shorter than you with much larger boobs. My dress wouldn’t fit you!”

Woman: “Oh, look, the cops came pretty quickly!”

(The woman went over and tried to tell the cops I was stealing her dress. They checked my receipts, ID, and registration, and confirmed that it was mine. They kept the woman back so that we could leave unhindered, but the seamstress told me later that they ticketed her for disturbing the peace and ended up having to escort her home so she wouldn’t try to follow me.)