Can’t Do It On Prints-iple

I work as a customer service operator for a bank. Our offices are closed due to the health crisis.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Caller: “I need to change my bank number and I need to change it fast! Like, now. At this moment. Now.”

Me: “All right. In order for us to change your bank number, we need your signature. We have a form for that on our site, so you can download it and fill it in. You can mail it back at us to [email address].”

Caller: “I don’t know how to find that; I’m terrible with computers.”

Me: “I understand. Do you want me to mail it to you?”

Caller: “No, I don’t have a printer. Can’t I come pick one up?”

Me: “Unfortunately, our offices are closed due to lockdown. You could always ask someone else to print the form or go to the library, or I could send you one by post.”

Caller: “But that takes too long!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but that are the options we have. We can’t change someone’s bank number without their signature.”

Caller: “Ugh, never mind. I’ll just print it myself!” *Ends the call abruptly*

Wait… didn’t she just say she didn’t have a printer?