Can’t Cry Over Spilt Milk When It Hasn’t Been Poured Yet

(I work as a barista at a British cafe chain.)

Me: “Hello there! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Tea. Two.”

Me: “Would you like those in large mugs or teapots? It’s all the same price.”

Customer: “Small! All you big chains are just out to scam people all the time, pretending like there isn’t a smaller size; it’s disgusting!”

Me: “Ma’am, all the sizes of tea are the same price so I just thought—”

Customer: “No! Small!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, regular milk or skimmed with that?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, anything else for you today?”

Customer: “I SAID NO ALREADY!”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. Thanks very much, enjoy!”

(I go off to clear a table quickly before serving the next customer. When I come back, the customer is still standing there.)

Me: “Everything okay, ma’am?”

Customer: *looking at me like I have a screw loose* “Erm, MILK?!”

Me: “Oh, yep, sure!”

Customer: *to the next person in line* “Jesus, where do they find these people? It’s like the light’s on, but nobody’s home!”