Can’t Blame The Wife For Changing Her Number

| Friendly | December 15, 2015

(I am a passenger in the car. My phone rings from a number I don’t recognize.)

Me: “Hello?”

Old Man: *angrily* “Who is this?!”

Me: “Um, you called me.”

Old Man: “This is my wife’s number. WHO ARE YOU?!”

Me: “No, you’ve called the wrong number.”

Old Man: “Is this [my number]?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s my number.”

Old Man: *launches into a lengthy tirade about how I stole his wife’s phone, that’s her number, she’s had that number ever since she got a cell phone, etc.*

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’ve had this number since 2004. It is not your wife’s number. You need to figure out her number and call her.”

(I hang up and he calls back four times, leaving increasingly irrational messages on my voicemail. He finally announces he is going to call the police. I am listening to this message on speaker as I walk into the grocery store, passing the local police. The cop hears the message, asks about it, and listens to the other messages. Then the phone rings again. The cop asks if he can answer and I let him.)

Old Man: “You better tell me why you stole my wife’s phone!”

Cop: “Sir, this is Officer [Cop] from the [Township] Police. Why are you bothering this woman?”

Old Man: *screaming* “SHE STOLE MY WIFE’S PHONE! ARREST HER!”

Cop: “Sir, I’m going to ask you to look for your cell phone bill and read me the phone number off the bill.”

(There’s a bunch of noise in the background and finally he reads the number. It’s close to mine but, obviously, not the same.)

Cop: “Sir, that’s not the number you dialed. You dialed a different number. The last digit is  different.”

Old Man: “But I always call that number and my wife always answers!”

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