Drinking Until You’re Sick

(Before our first road trip together my best friend is diagnosed with two separate but very contagious illnesses. Despite that, she still wants to go on our road trip as originally planned. In order to minimize my exposure to her germs she labels her water bottles with a “D” on the cap so that I wouldn’t inadvertently drink after her. Note: Her first name begins with the letter “D”.)

Me: “‘D’ for [D-name]?”

Best Friend: *dead pan* “No, ‘D’ for ‘Diseased.'”