Can You Smell The Love Tonight

(I recently had my first colonoscopy. Scared as h***, I go into the hospital thoroughly convinced I will not return. Prior to the procedure, my doctor explained that they inflate your intestines with air in order to get the camera inside, and you have to “give the air back” after you wake up. This exchange happens between me and my wife immediately after the procedure.)

Wife: “Hey, honey, you okay?”

Me: *as I’m getting dressed* “Yeah, I’m fine. Went quicker than I thought it would.”

Wife: “That’s good. I’m gonna go sign you out, then we’ll go home.”

Me: “Wait, one question.” *looks around nervously* “Did I fart?”

Wife: *deadpans* “Like a beached whale.”