Can You Loan Me Some Peace From Your Scams?

, , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

A number from Washington DC keeps calling my cell phone. I don’t answer numbers I don’t know, so I let it go to voicemail and listen later. It’s a robocall about student loan debt relief. I roll my eyes, delete the message, and block the number.

An hour later, a similar number calls. This time, I answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Silence…

Me: *A little louder* “Hello?”

Silence…

Me: “HELLO?”

Woman: *Recorded* “Hello, because of the recent government shutdown, we are offering complete student loan debt relief. If you know your student loan identification number, press 1. If you don’t know your student loan identification number, press 2. Or press 0 to speak to a supervisor.”

I don’t have student loans, so I press 0.

Woman: “Please hold while we transfer you. Your wait time is approximately one minute.”

I think about hanging up but I know they’ll only call back again. Five minutes later…

Man: “Hello, can I have your student loan identification number?”

Me: “Uh, actually, I pressed 0 for the supervisor. I don’t have—”

Man: “No, you must have pressed 1.”

Me: “I didn’t, though. I pressed 0. I need to speak with a supervisor.”

Man: “What is your student loan identification number?”

Me: “I don’t have one.”

Man: “I can look it up by your social security number.”

Me: *Laughs* “Uh, no, that’s definitely not happening.”

Man: *Annoyed* “Then why are you calling?”

Me: “First, you guys robodialed me — which I’m pretty sure is illegal, by the way — and now you’re upset because I’m telling you I don’t qualify for whatever you’re peddling.”

Man: “We provide student debt relief!”

Me: “I have no student loans.”

Man: “Then why are you calling?”

Me:Your company called me. I am trying to get my number off your list.”

Man: “I don’t have the authority to do that.”

Me: “Can you connect me to someone who can?”

Man: *Sweetly* “Of course.”

He hung up. I reported the number to the Do Not Call registry, but I doubt much will come from it. It seems all I can do is keep blocking the numbers and reporting them as they call.

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