They Can Be Found On Aisle 69

(I’m working on setting up an end cap for our “Back to Business” promotion when an attractive woman in her late 20s walks up to me.)

Customer: “I’m wondering if you have any cocks?”

Me: *after taking a moment to register what I thought she said* “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I’m looking for cocks and was told you might have some here.”

(Thinking I may have slightly misheard her, I assumed she was talking about caulk.)

Me: “Normally, we don’t sell the stuff, but occasionally an online order will get returned and find its way to the fastener section. Let’s go see if there’s anything floating around there.”

(We go to that section and, of course, I don’t see anything. That’s when the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “That seems weird. Why would waw cocks be put in with goo and binder kips?”

(Sudden realization happens. She has a slight speech impediment that seems to be preventing her from saying her Ls.)

Me: “Oh! Wall clocks! They’re right this way.”

(Most awkward conversation I’ve had in quite some time. Thankfully, she left happy and didn’t seem to notice my slight discomfort from the initial question.)