Where Can I Find The Lacto-Free Cows?

, , , , , | Related | January 15, 2018

(My siblings and I are over at our parents’ house for dinner, and my sister has brought some un-homogenized whole milk from a local dairy. My dad’s doctor has recently encouraged him to cut down on animal fats for his health.)

Dad: “I can’t have that. There’s too much fat.”

Sister: “That’s all right. We’ll just pour you some before we shake it and then take off the cream.”

Dad: “No, it still comes from a whole cow.”

Brother: “A… whole cow?”

Dad: “Yeah. I can only drink milk from skim cows.”

Brother: “That’s not how it works.”

Dad: “Yes it is. There are skim cows, 2% cows, and whole cows.”

Me: “What about 1%?”

Dad: “I guess they have 1% cows, too.”

Me: “And does chocolate milk come from brown cows?”

Dad: “No, that’s stupid.”

(He didn’t understand why we all thought that was funny.)

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