Calling Is Not Their Calling

(So I’m at my dad’s house. I’m reading a book on a couch while my sister and my father thought about how to take care of the termites.)

Sister: “You need to call them.”

Father: “I don’t know what to say!”

(At this point I’m tired of the fighting and slam my book shut. I pick up my phone, which is a flip phone, and pretend to dial exterminators.)

Me: “Hi, I live at [Address]. I would like to set up an appointment to get rid of some termites that are infesting the kitchen. What times would be acceptable for the exterminators to come?”

(I pretend someone is giving me information.)

Me: “Great, how much would that cost? Mmhm, okay. Thank you.”

(Pretend to hang up phone.)

Me: *click*

(My father’s and sister’s mouths are hanging open.)

Me: “Just like that, only don’t pretend.”

Sister: “You should call them.”

Me: “Not my circus; not my monkeys.”