Calling Him Grumpy Is Charitable

I am working on the till at a supermarket while every other store is in lockdown. I got used to rude and abrupt customers, but this is one that made me stand there in contemplative silence for a few moments after… This customer approaches my till with a few bottles of a popular soft drink:

Me: “Hello! How—”

Customer: “—I had to get six small bottles instead of the regular size ones because you have none on the shelf whatsoever. Who’s in charge of restocking and ordering? It better not be you! Absolutely disgraceful that you’re not even stocking your shop properly!”

His tone is suddenly dripping with sarcasm:

Customer: “I don’t want a bag but thanks for asking.”

He looks at the total on the screen and throws a note down.

Customer: “Keep the change for whatever charity you’re pretending to raise for this time.”

And then he was gone… and I took a moment of silence to marvel at everything he’d just blurted out in an impressively short amount of time.