The Cake Price Is A Lie

(I do cake decorating as a hobby and will do occasional jobs to fund it or just for some extra spending cash. I tend to be a bit expensive because I make everything by hand, from the cake to the frosting, and use fresh ingredients like butter and fresh fruit instead of oil and frozen stuff. I have a mother-in-law who is a pain in the rear; she likes to volunteer me for stuff, and then gets mad when I wont do it. My mother-in-law calls me and lets me know that someone at work is getting married, so she gave her my number to make a cake. I don’t normally like to bake for strangers, but I could use a little extra cash. The girl calls me and goes through what she wants. She has a wedding with over 300 guests. She wants a multi-tiered, very elaborately-decorated cake, and a groom’s cake — this is normally an extra, small, chocolate cake on the side of the wedding cake. So, I go through my calculations.)

Me: “Okay, for what you want, the cost will be $450.”

Caller: “WHAT?! That’s ridiculous! That is way too much. Why would it cost so much? I could get a cake from [Big Box Store] for much less!”

Me: “Oh, yes, you most certainly could. But I use fresh ingredients and make everything from scratch, whereas the stores use frozen cakes shipped in, and decorate them with machine-made icings. Plus, they cannot make the elaborate designs you want.”

Caller: “Well, that is ridiculous. Your mother-in-law said it would only run me around $30 or $50. You will do a deal for me.”

(Honestly, it sounded just like something my mother-in-law would say, and I confirm later that the moron did just that.)

Me: “Well, then, you can get my mother-in-law to make it for you. Honey, $30 won’t even cover the ingredients for the groom’s cake, much less the wedding cake. My wedding cake prices start at $100, and what you want is not a $100 job.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you do it as a wedding gift for me? Your mother-in-law said you do that for people.”

Me: “I did that for my sister and a dear friend. You are a complete stranger. It will be $450 for you.”

(She was very mad and hung up. Twenty minutes later, my idiot of a mother-in-law called, all upset, DEMANDING I make the cake for $30. I told her unless she was willing to give me $450 in cash up front, she could tell her coworker to go to the big box store for her cake. Yeah, my mother-in-law is a pain and an idiot, but she never did that again because it embarrassed her at work. Really, who the heck expects an elaborate wedding cake for $50?)