Caffeine Is A Heck Of A Drug

I’m making coffee one morning. I take mine with sugar and cream. My father drinks his straight black.

Dad: “Would you like a little coffee with your creamer?”

Me: “You have no one to blame for this but yourself.”

Dad: “How’s that?”

Me: “Remember when I was seven and decided I wanted to drink coffee in the morning like you did?”

Dad: “Vaguely, why?”

Me: “You told me if I could drain an entire straight black cup that I could drink coffee. By gosh, I did it. I drank the entire thing. But I hate black coffee now. It’s your fault. It wasn’t even good coffee!”

Dad: “Oh… Yeah, I was kind of hoping it’d be so gross you’d give up. I didn’t think you’d actually drink it.”

Me: *Sips my coffee* “Shoot and a miss.”