Caf-fiend

(I almost never drink coffee, but during my second pregnancy I discover that just little sips of flavored brew throughout the day really help with the morning sickness. In total, I am drinking about a cup and a half to two cups a day, and roughly a third to half of that is flavored liquid creamer, so I am well within the pregnancy limits. My dad decides he needs to impart some knowledge with me.)

Dad: “So, I was watching this video online about coffee and how it’s really bad for you. It’s hard on the human body.”

Me: “Okay… what did they say?”

(He goes into an explanation of the risks and dangers of caffeine, most of which I already know, but the stuff he is saying only applies to people who drank A LOT of caffeine. As in, like, overdosing on energy drinks.)

Me: “Dad, how many cups a day did they say was bad for you?”

Dad: “Well, forty, but the caffeine is still bad for you.”

Me: “Okay, Dad, can I tell you how many cups a day I’m drinking?”

Dad: “I’m just trying to help you out. I just wanna help you and your baby. You can take it or leave it.”

Me: “Dad, I appreciate that. But I’m only drinking two cups a day at most.”

Dad: “But your coffee is so strong.”

Me: “No, Dad, the coffee I make is normal. Yours is weak.”

Dad: “Like I said, I’m just trying to help you out. You can take it or leave it.”

(His heart was in the right place, just not his research. And when I say his coffee was weak, it LOOKED like tea. My sister, an avid coffee drinker, wouldn’t touch it either.)