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Caesar’s Death Was Less Painful Than This

, , , | Right | October 20, 2021

An older lady, about sixty, comes into the café by herself for lunch. She orders our chicken Caesar salad.

Our version of the salad isn’t traditional; it has lettuce mix, tomato, red onion, cucumber, croutons, parmesan cheese, diced bacon, grilled chicken breast pieces, and Caesar dressing. We know it’s different, which is why it says exactly what the salad involves right on our lunch menu. Even though it’s not the traditional recipe, we get a lot of comments on how much the customers enjoy it.

When this lady receives her meal, she immediately starts to complain to my coworker.

Customer: “This isn’t a chicken Caesar salad!”

Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did the kitchen make the wrong meal for you? Let me take that back and—”

Customer: “No, no, no. What I mean is, this isn’t how you make it. I’m a chef. This is my profession. You don’t put tomato and onion in a Caesar salad!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but the menu does list exactly what goes in the dish. If you didn’t want a particular thing, we could have made it without it for you.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t read the menu! Why would I do that? I want my money back. This salad is ridiculous.”

Coworker: “If you like, we can make another for you.”

Customer: “No! I’m a chef! I don’t want your terrible salad.”

And so on…

My coworker told the boss, who wasn’t too happy, especially since the customer admitted that she didn’t read the menu. The boss basically told her in polite language that her being a chef didn’t mean a d*** thing to him and that if she wasn’t going to read the menu, then it wasn’t the restaurant’s fault that she got something she didn’t want. She got extremely rude and stormed off.

I had a chuckle and figured it was the last we would hear from her. Almost, but not quite.

I walked in a few days later with a coworker, and the boss thrust an envelope into my hands with a look that said, “Can you believe this?!” Confused, I opened it up, and what did I find? Page upon page of chicken Caesar salad recipes! 

She had the nerve to take the time to copy down at least a dozen different recipes, look up our address in the phone book, and put it all in the post. She included a letter demanding that we correct our menu using the “proper” recipe for a chicken Caesar salad.

Lucky for her, she didn’t leave a return address, because [Boss] was fuming! 

As far as we know, she never had the gall to show up to see whether our business had changed its menu to suit her demands.

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