By Virtue Of The Authority Vested In Me, Enjoy 20% Off

(The customer is a very pregnant woman in the process of being rung up and has just seen the subtotal on her purchase. She then awkwardly drops to one knee in front of the register.)

Customer: “Will you marry me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I really need you to marry me right now. That would get me a discount, right?”

(Four or five awkward seconds pass as I stand there, speechless and not sure what to say in response.)

Customer: “Hurry up. My knee is starting to hurt!”