By The Twelve!

(I play Final Fantasy XIV. Every day, I tell a coworker something I’m going to be doing or have done in the game. She doesn’t play video games, so usually I leave things vague, or show a picture of a boss fight I’m doing. Occasionally I like to throw out a comment so vague, that she thinks I’m doing something in real life. Here are a few examples.)

Story #1:

Me: “I need to punch a moogle–” *a cute creature that is considered one of the two mascots for the entire series* “–in the face.”

Coworker: “What’s a moogle?”

(I show her a picture of the moogle boss I’m fighting.)

Coworker: “It’s cute! Don’t kill it!”

Me: “It’ll destroy the world if I don’t.”

Coworker: “Then let it destroy the world!”

Story #2:

Me: “I need to take down an old man.” *referring to a lightning-themed boss with a long beard*

Coworker: “You should respect the elderly!”

Me: “To be fair, I tried to be peaceful, but he challenged me.”

Coworker: “Don’t hit old people!”

Story #3:

Me: “Is it time to go home yet? I have to get an apartment.”

Coworker: *stares at me in shock* “You’re finally moving out of your parent’s basement and putting yourself in the real world?”

Me: “No, they’re bringing the servers up just after I get off, and they’re adding apartment housing.”

Coworker: “I was getting my hopes up that you were finally going to do something to change your life!”

Me: “You should know me better than that.”